eudaemonic- (adj.) producing happiness and well-being

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Those of you reading this, you are probably the same ones that I have complained to about my life (void of people) and job (being stupid).

Megan, I told you my job wasn’t really a job.

Tamara and Katherine I’ve told you I wasn’t good at what I did, so I was unhappy.

I’m sorry. In an attempt to be genuine in our friendships, I wanted to tell you the truth… which meant I unloaded all the negative feelings I was hiding from the other people in my life, specifically my coworkers.

The real truth is…
*I am enjoying life (like whoa.)
*I’m learning tons of stuff (I got a paper two minutes off the press the other night… COOL!)
*I’m starting to be genuine in my relationships (no more phony SJ.)
*I love going to work and writing everyday (and about interesting stuff too :O). )
*I still dance to the music in my head

I realized that by only sharing the secret stuff, I wasn’t do you a favor or enriching our relationship, I was denying you the real me.

So, here I am. I’m still happy!!! I promise :O)

Friday, December 22, 2006

I had my first serious breaking news story today. Yes, I've covered house fires and fatality reports, but this was a real story with people and officials. YIKES! I have to admit, I was scared out of my boots. I guess I should tell you what happened. I had just gotten in and was working on an article about a new city plan for Jacksonville, when my bosses came over and told me in confusing terms that there had been a development with the Goodyear plant. See, Goodyear workers have been on strike since early Oct. over a plan to shut down the plant. (It also involves something about employees losing their retirement benefits.) The entire union is behind them, so that means there are strikes across the country!

Talks between the union and co. finally blossomed into something that the union will vote on. They have decided to keep the plant open one more year and offer "buy outs" for retirement and health care.

I was given a press release and told to cover it. WHAT? Yikes! The photographer and I rode together and he said casually, "Hey, don't you want to call the head guy... they're on a different time zone and might be gone for Christmas soon."

Of course... what a great idea... except I was so nervous to be doing this in front of the photographer that I couldn't really think of anything to ask him. This was a new story for me (the business writer had been following it). It turned out okay... no worries, I snapped out of my phone shyness :O)

Anyway, we made it out to the picket line and I asked my questions... lots of them... pages of them... It was way too much, but I couldn't help myself. I felt stupid asking them to explain their wording to me (stuff about retirement and benefits) because if I was a real reporter I would have been keeping up with the whole mess from the beginning. But, I'm not, so I just kept asking questions.

When I got back to the office I found that I would be writing the story tag team with another writer with his own information.

That's something else that made me nervous. I had to write half of an article without knowing what he was writing about. Granted, I was told to focus mainly on the "who" (not the what) aspect of the event, but it's still hard to write together.

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow... mucho mucho stories (seriously) and nada time.

Let's see what happens!

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I was asked a seemingly simple question today.

"Stephanie, what's one thing you like and don't like about working at the paper?"

I was sitting around a table at Olive Garden with all of my female co-workers (plus one that used to work at the paper but left to do Tyler PR). In that 30 minutes I had laughed more than in the entire four weeks I've been here. I had been having such a good time.

So, of course, I wanted to say something intelligent (especially since one of my semi-bosses was there). I want these girls to like me.

But, what came out of my mouth?

"I don't know... I like writing and I like having a reason to be nosey."

WHAT? Where did that come from? What happened to my years of training in extemporaneous speaking? How did something so unthoughtful, unintelligent and ungenuine come out of my mouth at this inopportune time?

I interviewed a woman recently whose house had caught on fire the week prior to our talk and she was so, I want to use the words guarded and rude, but I know she was probably just really nervous. Well, I gave her my phone number because she was wary of talking about the fire (the insurance hadn't been determined yet). It wasn't 30 minutes later that she called me not once but twice with more things to say. She said she was never good with speaking and could answer my questions much more fluidly if I would just ask them one more time. I did, and she kept her word!

Well, that's what I would like to do now. I would like to take back that moment and answer the question with a true comment (not a gum smacking, hair twirling answer) :O)

The thing I like most about working at the paper is talking to people who are passionate about what they do. I love, crave, linger on the conversations I've had with folks where they are genuine. I love hearing a spark in a person's voice that comes from living their life in a way that makes them happy!

I don't know if I have that spark about my job yet. I really want to, but I just don't know if it's there or not.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Since I started at the paper, I've noticed my anxiety level has gone up.

Before, once I completed a task, I wrote it off. One down, un-numbered to go, I say. Now though, I could be in the most peaceful spot, contemplating none of the world's worries, then... BAM! I have a minor freak out. Did I double check that name in an my article about Mr. Snowofsdlksjie? Did I match the right person to the right quote?

CRUD! Did I?

I know in my heart that I did, that everything is okay (It had better be, I check everything so many times the computer screen starts showing wear marks around certain lines)... but there's still that deep socketed, gnawing worry... the worry that's keeping me up tonight.

I covered our company Christmas party today (lame, I know) but that was my assignment, so I just did it. I am so scared that I messed up one of my bosses names or titles or quotes... I know that I didn't... but I could be fired for that.

Oh and P.S.- I do not like my upstairs, "I wear concrete on my feet, come home at 2 a.m. and clunk around" neighbor. When it's early in the morning like that I really... really want to go upstairs and tell him to cool it mister. Maybe someday :O)

Friday, December 08, 2006

What would it look like if I lived my life like it was enough. What would happen I didn't spend my time waiting for something that I wanted, that I thought I had to have in order to live life. What if I didn't think things like, "When I have a family, I'll (fill in the blank)," or "Once I have my own house, I'll finally be able to (pick a verb)," or my favorite "Once I get my feet on the ground, then I'll ___"

Yep, what would happen if I took this day and... whoa, wait a second here... DID SOMETHING with it! What if I lived everyday to its complete potential. If my day was "a sorry folks no juice left here, it has all been squeezed out," day.

That's really what I'm trying to work on. It is so easy for me to make the plans, to organize it in my head, and then never follow through.

Here, it's especially hard because this job I go to everyday is pretty time consuming and mind consuming and everything else consuming. I am salivating for my pajamas by the end of the day instead of being of the day :O).

So, here's the plan... a plan I intend to carryout. I am going to walk across the grass that separates the apartments here, knock on the door of my neighbors and say something witty, something brilliant, something like, "Hi, my name is Stephanie... Can we be friends?"

A keeper of a statement! :O)

I am going to go to the nursing home and start a relationship with someone there. "Hi, my name is Stephanie... Can we be friends?"

Oh, and I'm going to go have coffee at midnight even though I'd really much rather be asleep (character flaw, sorry :O) )

Luke said that where your treasure is, you're heart's chilling there too. So, I'm going to stop the pedestal idea that I can only do certain things once (let's recap here) - A. I have a family, B. I have a house, C. I get my feet on the ground - and take put that treasure in today... That's really where it's supposed to be anyway :O)

Yeah? Make sense? No? Blast it!