eudaemonic- (adj.) producing happiness and well-being

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Another week has past... how does it happen like that? It seems one moment I'm staring at the clock or calendar swearing time is going backward. Then before I know it, the day is over. Like Saturday - My family came over for Thanksgiving (yay!). Mom and Dad drove up Friday, but I had to work the late shift. FYI- I am not a night person. It is so hard for me to display any kind of intelligence after, probably, 10. These people want me to be sharp as a tack, smart as a whip, quick as a rabbit until 11 p.m.! Wishing I was in my pajamas make the night pass by even more like a winter molasses run. I KNOW that time stopped several times that night, because I would be doing something - there would be a bleep on the scanner, I would have some phone call, or be working on some small story - and the clock would read the same exact time as when I left. WHAT???

I had to work the late shift Saturday too, but before I reported to work, we had THANKSGIVING!!!! Yes, yes we did! It was so nice. My grandma, aunt/uncle/cousins and my parents came over to my apartment so I could celebrate too! I still have pumpkin pie, turkey, ham and green beans in my fridge from that yummy yummy wonderful wonderful day.

When I went to work, I was thinking about all my family still sitting on my couch. I wanted to sit with them too! I wanted to play another round of Clue! I wanted to go with my parents around town! Alas, that night crawled just as slow as Friday (with a little more excitement around the office). However, while I was at work wishing the day over, my parents were actively living their day. They did my laundry and bought me pepper spray, fresh flowers, a bath mat and a mini-Christmas tree (they even decorated it!). Imagine my surprise coming in at 11:30 seeing my living room lit up with Christmas lights! See, they did something with their time. There is something in this world that shows that they were here, with me. I can't look in my living room, kitchen or bathroom without thinking about them, their love for me and my love for them.

What did I do with my week that made a dent in this world? I've been asking myself this question a lot recently. I really don't think that writing is what I was made to do. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love picking up a pen and organizing thoughts on paper. I love talking to people and sharing their story with other people. I love knowing what's going on and helping to make it common knowledge. BUT what did I do for others? My words didn't make someone's day better. They didn't hold someone who was hurting. They didn't unite people in community. Well, I mean, I guess in reality they did, but my heart didn't feel like it was giving. Maybe it's just the first couple of week’s weirdness, or maybe, the Lord is using this time to teach me who he really wants me to be.

Who he wants me to BE. Man, those two letters pack a mighty powerful punch. I know he has called me (just me) to something (just for me). I know it doesn't always have to be in a career where we find our real life. It can just as easily be in people, relationships outside of the work hours. That could be the frozenness I feel too as I am still community-less. Soon though, soon :O)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Lévy-Dhurmer, Vent d'Automme - Portrait de Mlle Suzanne S.
[Autumn Wind - Portrait of Ms Suzanne S.]

It is perfect. I love this painting!

A few weeks ago I went to this folk-music festival where 10 or so musicians preformed their own music. This one lady, whose name I can't remember, played this song about how she wished her heart could speak in dance like the Irish, paint like the artisans or write like the poets. Do you know what I mean by heart speak? She wished she could express her life and feelings in these other ways. The chorus rounded our her wishes with, "I guess I'll just sing." I LOVED it... she figured out the way she communicates when words just won't do. She sang!

You know, it got me thinking that I don't know how I release. I like to do everything. There are times that I really do just have to dance. Equally, there are times when words are the safest and most true to form way to express. And then, I have a MASSIVE basket of paint, paper and the goodies of physical creation.

Eeeeeehhhh, oh well :O). What are the purposes of these musings anyway? Why do we even care about writing and sharing and stuff like that? Ah ha :O) I'll tell you later :O) :O)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

My favorite string cheese started putting jokes on the packaging....

What are two things you can't eat for dinner?
-breakfast and lunch!

Why they boy close the fridge door?
-he didn't want to see the salad dressing :O)

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
-he wanted a light snack

Why should you never tell a secret on a farm?
-because the corn has ears

Why did the orange go to the doctor?
-because he wasn't peeling well

Love it :O)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Today was one of those very bad, no good, awful days.

Okay, so it wasn’t that bad… I’ll start with the morning.

I woke up early (before my alarm!) so I was humming a happy tune. I got dressed, had extra time to dance in the living room to the radio, grabbed my directions to church and hit the road.

I hit the wrong road. Ya’ll know that I have a problem with directions. My hound dog senses are a little under developed. I WENT THE WRONG WAY. I got a little cocky… I thought I knew where the beginning road was, but I was 180 degrees off. Yep.

So, I missed that church time. I went back home after driving around for 30 minutes, did a Google search for another church close by and hit the road again. I found this one, but the sermon left me confused.

I went home exhausted from a swirling mind and the missed roads. I borrowed an electric drill the day before so I set to securing a drape bar to the wall. I couldn’t do it.

I decided to go visit family in Overton.

That’s the ticket. I’m going to go see family and count my blessings instead of being a grouch. Yep, yep… let’s go

I went… I went the wrong way. This time I was led astray by a Google map. When I turned around I was already frustrated, the battery on my cell was low and I did not know how to get to Overton.


I turned around by the railroad tracks and as I slowed to stop at the stop sign I heard a weird noise…plua plua, plua plua. I pulled over to see what was up…. Yep, I had a flat tire.



I cried.

I hate crying.

I hate feeling inadequate. I hate knowing that I can’t do something. Let’s name them. (1) I can’t find my way to a new place. (2) I can’t change a flat tire (3) I can’t do this!

I called a friend in Jacksonville to come help me, he did. He pointed out that things happen. He’s right, and what’s even better than recognizing that life isn’t perfect is that we have people to help us. People can be good. Two men with those “zoom zoom” tools that get the bolts off tires and then put them back on came by and helped out. My friend left a race he was watching to help me. My aunt worried and loved me when I got to her house.

Everything turns out to be okay. Not really a shocker... even after a bad day, life is still good... still worth celebrating and living.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Some of you may know that my favorite magazine is Real Simple, of the Martha Stewart empire. It is a GREAT magazine. The layouts are clean and innovative. The paper is textured and feels good your hands. They book bind the pages so the magazine lays flat on a table or lap. It has fun quotes, great articles, quality pictures and it's not glossy!!!

Anyway, in last month's magazine they mentioned a Web site that has become one of my favorites. It's found at . It's fantastic, especially the politics and research categories.

Check it out. I bet you'll like it :O)

On another note, I talked to my boss this A.M. Ahhh, there's nothing like a good dose of inadequacy in the morning. It pairs perfectly with my coffee and frozen Slim Fast. Why do I feel so stupid when I talk to new people on the phone? Whenever I pick up the phone to call someone I'm not acquainted with I have to give myself a pep talk! Talking on the phone is definitely not the way to put my best foot forward, especially in professional environment. I can talk on the phone for interviews, but those are somewhat scripted and prepared. Blast the phone :O)

I think it all goes back to the nagging question, "What do people think about me?" Does my boss think I'm smart, snooty, sparky or slothful? Then once I feel I've figured out my standing, I work on a plan to get my alliterated character traits back to where I want then to be. I'm reading this book called He loves Me!. It's all about God's love for us. The cover features a daisy, which the author uses to symbolize how we view God's love for us. You know, the whole plucking the "he loves me, he loves me not," from the center crown. "I got a job"- he loves me. "I let anger take my tongue"- he loves me not.... it continues forever. This book takes that idea and throws it on the trash pile. Then he runs over it with a tractor and catches it on fire... (hehehehe, did I go too far?)

God loves me because I am his child. He doesn't just delight in me because I held my tongue when it was feeling more like a sword out to slash somebody. Nor does he take away is admiration when I screw up and let selfishness and greed take hold of my body. HE LOVES ME because I'm his child! There's nothing I could do to make it go away and there's definitely nothing I can do to earn it. Earn it... that's the real struggle. We only want what we “deserve”, what we feel we have sweated enough to earn. God's love isn't one of those things. It is given freely... with no expiration date or checklist.

So, I guess that just shows you… God is love and bosses are scary.