eudaemonic- (adj.) producing happiness and well-being

Monday, November 14, 2005

It's pretty late Monday night and I just got in from our intern dinner with Cady. I can't stop coughing so I just figured I would blog. My roommates are at it again. I am so tired of coming home to a war zone! Do you see that man... there's a reason I'm not pictured there with saber in hand! We're here for an internship, not verbal combat.
I want everyone to just get along. My wish can be even simpler. I wish that those who can't get along leave each other be. You don't have to be best friends, just don't egg each other on. Each of these girls are wonderful... why can't they see this about each other? Why do girls fight over silly things? What is it about the female brain that creates drama? What part is this? Do we have an over-reacting reactor? An always cocked trigger?

When people fight, I hide. I dislike it very much. I hate the build up of "the big one." I hate watching and listening to cattiness and cruelness slice back and forth on the ice created between people. I hate the tempo and pitch change voices make when gearing up to the red zone. I hate the way words cut. If I were still little I would be hiding in the closet right now. Instead I've found a safe place in my room.

Most of all I guess I hate what it does to people-- anger anyway. It cools something inside.. that special part of you that reaches out to people. When anger rules, that part dies. My friend Kendra found a quote that I really enjoy. It shows women, or people in general :O), as something distinctive, singular, numinous, unique, rare, luminous, weightless. It goes, "The only way to catch a butterfly is never waiting for the wings." In this case.. the only way to catch a butterfly is to tear off the wings. No one wants to be mean deep down inside. We really were made for relationships. There's something deep down that wants to connect with someone else. That part of us, the part that needs someone, is just as fragile as the butterfly wing. Hurting people hurt people.... why are we hurting?


Blogger Kat said... really sounds scary in there. I'm calling you tonight.

6:35 AM  
Blogger steph-a-ronie said...

No- it's not scary... I was just thinking about anger in the broad sense and writing..... not just in my apartment. No fear my friend! All is okay!

6:51 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

ok ...well i hope you cough goes away...i heard that hot chocolate helps

7:05 AM  
Blogger megamoo06 said...

My friend. I understand what you mean about wanting to go hide in the closet. Most of the time, I'm the same way. But, I think I might be schizophrenic; cause sometimes it's FUN to fight. But only when you are absolutely sure you are right, and the other person doesn't get nasty and cruel. I haven't heard your sweet voice in a while. You should call me.

1:08 PM  

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