Leave it to other people to put into words what's swirling around my head.

Had dinner with a friend Friday night. She came in for a funeral -- for a 20-year-old. He was eating at Texas Roadhouse with his girlfriend in College Station when he took a breath and died right at the table.

Right at the table... probably before he ate his favorite green beans.

I don't say that irreverently... you'll understand after you read what my friend said.

"Stephanie, it was like God just bonked me on the head... was his life any less real... any less fulfilling... any... less, just because he hadn't gotten married, had kids, gotten a job... all the things that I want?"

(that was a paraphrase, by the way)

No, his life wasn't any less real. My friend said he was a believer. At the funeral, she said his mom kept a smile on her face, because "she knew that he was in a better place."

First off, wow, I that's insane, where I am now, I don't think I could smile. I would be doing good to keep breathing myself... Jesus must have really been working in her ... second off, true, so true, he is in a WAY better place.

It got my friend, and me, thinking... why do I work so hard at things that don't matter. I'm not talking about working hard at a job or working to keep my butt equal to my jean size. I'm talking about every breath I take that isn't spent furthering something. I'm talking about idleness (a stark comparison to working, but it's applicable for me). I'm talking about "I'll do it tomorrow-ness."

If I don't do the things I want to accomplish in my life -- get married, raise a family, live out of the country, write interesting articles, blah blah blah -- will my life be any less?

Not if I don't live that way.

That means I need to drop the burden that I have to control all of this ... I need to drop what I can't control and life my life.

Like what-ever-his-face-with-the-famous-name-I-can't-remember-Christian-writer pointed about in his book-title-I-also-can't-remember... When God gave manna to the children of Israel He gave enough for the day.

Well, that's all we're promised... Manna (aka: strength) for today. He's given me enough to just take care of April 1, not enough to also worry about April 2.

I just took a deep breath... my chest rose and fell and then did it again. My lungs filled. That means I'm still here. That means there's still time. That means I'm going to do something for Jesus