eudaemonic- (adj.) producing happiness and well-being

Monday, May 07, 2007

I had a weird week.

It wasn't bad... just kerflunked. I felt like every story I wrote evoked an "eehhh, so-so" from my imaginary peanut gallery. No one ever said anything, but you (the writer or teacher or engineer or whatever) can always feel the dichotomy between the good and not so good work.

I have a big story coming up in a week... and have yet to start -- Well, I guess that's not completely true. I have made several phone calls, but they all hit the wall... and then slid down hitting the trash can.

If the writing referee can't call the play the way I want him to, at least the trashcan ref can still yell AND IT'S GOOD


I'm working with another reporter on this piece, which is not my favorite way to write, but I think it will be a good thing. Two reasons: I really like the other reporter (she's nice) and enjoy reading her stuff (she's good). We've also written another story together and it turned out ok. So, hey!! That's not too awful! But, still... my independent flesh likes to do things on my own :)

That side of me - that prideful, self-sufficient SJ - has been a topic of self-talk for a few months. Either it's getting worse, or my God has chosen that particular area of my life to show me what life could be if only I would take the hand being offered. Either way, it's a personal attribute that gets the Vegas-glitter treatment...

Meaning, when I have that gut reaction to close a heart door so I don't get hurt, or when I have the urge to not ask for help, or when I just itch to abandon ship and captain my own raft... I know what I'm doing. It's not a second nature thing where I don't realize that I'm doing it (like popping gum or clicking a pen). It's as clear as if the neon signs and feathered show girls moved into the barn down the road. Quite noticeable.

Ooooh, yes. I know that I am actively making the decision to keep my title of President of the deserted island.

All hail me... All? Ummm... you forgot, Sparky... you're alone here :)


I've been really drawn to the study of the Holy Spirit. For the past week it's been my thang'. And there's one verse that I really think you would enjoy too. It's in 2 Cor. 5. I'll just write the whole thing here. It's not that long.

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

Nice, aye? So that mortal may be swallowed up by life. Humm... and right after that Paul said that God made us for that (hummm...our forever purpose, could he mean Heaven???) and that God gave us the Holy Spirit now as deposit for what's 'round the bend.

So, if I understand this correctly (no promises), then doesn't that mean that although our insides groan for heaven (no pain, no hurt, no hunger, no fights)... with the arrival of the Holy Spirit, we can experience a little of that here on Earth?

I think it does. That if we quiet ourselves and recognize what sits inside of us (Eternity) instead of filling out my stupid hour by hour day-planner... we can tap into that life.

That the removal of that pain and suffering could be closer than we think. Good example... with the last big story I wrote, I was so beyond frazzled. It was bad because I forgot what I have in my chest. I totally don't have it figured out, but after that horrible experience I remembered the sanctuary of the soul, a place where God can speak and actually be heard over the cell phone.

So, verrrrrrrry long story short, with this upcoming big story, I've not gone crazy! That's good! I'm still worried, but it hasn't taken that life.

The Holy Spirit swallowed up the mortal.


Blogger megamoo06 said...

wow - I get my very own Steph-sermon. I'd like more, please!

3:24 PM  

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