eudaemonic- (adj.) producing happiness and well-being

2007-08-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

Until my marathon is over, this site has moved to....

www.betweenruns.blogspot.com

YAY!

2007-08-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm renting a HOUSE! A real, front-door closing, no loud upstairs neighbor named Steffan, two-bed/one bath, roommate sharing house!

And it's soooo cute!

And it's cheaper than my apartment now.

Big bedrooms, living room, den, big kitchen, moderate bath, backyard with a deck and right next to the running park!!!

Oh, and here's the best part (besides having a sweet roommate) it's 1.3 miles from my office.

YES!

Oh yeah, and there's no lease!

If I want to pack up and move to Alaska, all the landlady wants is 30 days notice

Please come see me soon :)

2007-07-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

Idea of the day:

Wedgies are fun to say, uncomfortable to have.

hehehehehe wedgie

2007-07-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

Friday turned out to be a pretty busy day.

I showed up for work around 8:30. A few phone calls, a trio of articles, and I was home by 4 p.m.

See, I was to cover a school board meeting that night at 7, and to keep my time card within respectable overtime limits I had to hit the road early (so I could stay out late.)

So, I got home, leisurely made some coffee and just relaxed. With my steaming mug o' Joe, I settled in on the couch and watched some Oprah (Hey, don't judge... I have four channels. It was either her, Judge Judy, Judge Judy copycat or Montel. I chose Oprah.)

That day's episode was a how-to seminar for the single ladies of America.

"Do these things and you can catch yourself a man, American women."

As I chuckled (and secretly took notes... hehehehe), I lifted the coffee cup to my mouth.

Wooo wee, it was H-O-T!!! The mug equally as scorching. It was so hot, I didn't want to hold the mug too tightly at the risk of searing off my fingerprints.

SIDE NOTE: In any seminar, FFA event or lunch meeting I have ever attended, they talk about the importance of a firm handshake. Web of the hand to web of the hand and hold securely for one pump up and one pump down. Then let go, lest you be labeled a creep.

Well, the loose grip got me that day. As I gingerly juggled the cup... it slipped out of my hand and splashed hhhhoooottttt coffee all over my lap and chest.

And time froze. Coffee arced out of the cup. If the arc had been bigger, I'm pretty sure some surfer could have totally hung ten on its curve. The cup slipped from my hand and floated mid air as the liquid came up and over the side of the cup, ribboned downward and splashed like Shamu on to my lap... there was so much liquid that it slid all over the couch, in between the cushions and soaking me down to my socks.

Everything was wet: me, the carpet, the couch... yep... that's everything.

Blah.

You know? I had a meeting in an hour. I didn't have time to be cleaning up a mess, changing clothes and trying to get coffee out of the upholstery.

No time for this mess.

Yet, I had created it.

Ooooh, how I wished I could have turned back time and not spilled that coffee.

That seems to be a common wish of mine.

After I screw up, I immediately want to go back... back when things were good...

Back before my hamper smelled like Starbucks.

And back before I hurt someone's feelings with a flip comment, put God on the back burner to watch a 10 p.m. showing of Everybody Loves Raymond, and wasted valuable time on nothing.

I screw up a lot.

But it kind of helps me be a better lover of people and a better forgiver. If I could go back and prevent the stupid things I did, then I could give the appearance of perfection.

And I'm not perfect.

I don't mean to mess up... but I don't not mean to mess up either.

Sometimes my screw ups are just what I need to remind me that I'm forgiven. Sometimes my "no take back" messes and stains are a reminder that although I really made a mistake, and it hurt, and I don't like the consequences... and I think I'm going to be scrubbing out the mess forever...

"The Lord will have compassion on Jacob; once again he will choose Israel and will settle them in their own land........

On the day the Lord gives you relief from suffering and turmoil and cruel bondage, you will take up this taunt against the king of Babylon:

How the oppressor has come to an end! How his fury has ended!....

All the lands are at rest and at peace; they break into singing."(Isaiah 12)

Isaiah is a book full of judgement and scary scary consequences for Judah and Israel's (and mine) sin... but there's also the story of release.

They were released from that captivity.

Isaiah talks about the coming of Jesus.

It talks about the future Kingdom.

This morning we sang It's Well With My Soul:

My sin, oh the bliss of that glorious thought. My sins not in part, but the whole, was nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, oh my soul.

Because of Jesus, I'm free from sin. It's still there, and I can still sin... but through His sacrifice, I'm forgiven... and through the Holy Spirit, I have the power to overcome and rejoice.

Hence the word redeemed.

So... if I could go back in time... then... well?

I guess I wouldn't know all about that redeemed business.

Plus, I think after all that scrubbing, my carpet is cleaner than before.

Funny how that happens.

:)

2007-06-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

I had a rough day... the worst of it came at the end of this story I'm getting ready to tell you:

There has been another dead body in my week. The remains of a human found over Labor Day weekend 2006 were identified as an Athens woman missing for about a year. There are whispers filling the air that, perhaps, a former J'ville policeman -- well known in these parts for the rape of several women and retaliation when they outed him -- is involved.

Those rumors can't be addressed in my story without attribution, which isn't forthcoming right now because there are federal cases still pending. Yet, tv news is spouting off this information without a name tied to it.

But that's not the worst part. While I'm trying to find this woman's mother (and consequently, guardian of her two children) I call a wrong number from a police report.

When I asked to speak with the woman I'm searching for, an elderly man said, "There isn't any X here. I wish there were. I'm all alone. I'm lonely."

The day pretty much got more discouraging from there, but there's no need to drag you down with me.

Oooooooh, people hurt in this world. People hurrrrrrrrrt, bad. I, as a Christian, am to make it better with the eternal balm of Christ. But, people hurrrrrrrrrrrt and I don't even know them. How do I help? How do I love people I don't know? How do I feed the hungry, give hydrate the thirsty, welcome strangers, clothe the naked, take care of the sick and visit those in prison?

Oh, there's so much.

I pray today that I'll not just hurt for them, but actually help.

Today.

Come with me.

2007-06-02T10:05:00.000-07:00

Running gives me a chance to think about things. It takes me outside, away from the television, away from the computer, and leaves me far too winded to talk on the phone (sweaty earpiece--- gross). It takes me to myself.

And myself wonders....

Why am I so complacent with my "cheap grace" life?

Buoyed by a book I'm reading and a sermon I recently listened to on my IPod, I'm certainly familiar with the term of "cheap grace," though I never would have named it that myself.

"Cheap grace" is telling Heaven to wait... I'm busy living the way I want to. It's not diving down deep into the eternity in my heart-- becoming a holy sanctuary of adoration, living a spirit-empowered life. It's going to the store for fruit instead of allowing God to cultivate fruits in me. It's changing how I act, instead of who I am being changed. It's seeing prayer as words, instead of as change.

I once heard a book described as "smelling of lust and prison."

Isn't that a great description?

It's also how a bunch of Bible men and women would be described...

They didn't just want more God, more time with God, more connection to God, more ways to say "I love you," -- they lusted (def: crave, intense desire or need) for it.

Death, jail time, fasting, crying, losing, loneliness, more and more and more followed them. They invited those things in... to get more God.

And it didn't matter what happened.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior.--- Habakkuk 3:17 (relativity of this verse was stolen from the Ipod sermon)

So, back to the question: Why am I content with living without that? Why am I not bothered that I don't hit the floor in desperation? Why am I not so shocked into action that I live that way all the time? Why are beliefs compartmentalized into "moral" and "unmoral"?

Why?

Why may not be the best question, so I'll stop asking it.

Here's a better one: How?

How do I live that way?

It's not through trying to act this way... because I've been trying. It's hard to constantly change the way I act and talk when my insides are the same.

The Bible says it's by throwing away what is mortal and allow myself to be swallowed by this life that I crave.

So, I get rid of me.

That's the definition of freedom if I've ever heard it.

Will I ever figure all this out?

2007-05-30T21:16:00.001-07:00

It's the little things:

- I went to the grocery store and grapes were on sale!
- I only painted one coat of deep red on my nails... and they have yet to chip.
- I didn't go for a run today, but I can feel my knee healing.
- I made a tomato sauce dip for a "bring your own dish" work luncheon tomorrow. I'm going to serve it in a little baby crockpot. It doesn't get much better than that!
- I have a shrimp smell in my house, but it reminds me of gal pals Tam, Kat and Chelsea because we ate it together.

2007-05-29T13:49:00.001-07:00

The Efficacy of Chocolate Milk as a Recovery Aid
[Annual Meeting Abstracts: C-34 - Free Communication/Poster: Post-Exercise Nutrition]
Karp, Jason R.; Johnston, Jeanne D.; Tecklenburg, Sandy; Mickleborough, Tim; Fly, Alyce; Stager, Joel M. FACSM

Indiana University, Bloomington, IN.

Email: runman@indiana.edu

0850

Sport nutritionists recommend that endurance athletes performing two workouts a day ingest carbohydrates immediately following the first training session to rapidly replenish muscle glycogen. To meet this need, many nutritional products have been marketed as carbohydrate replacement drinks (CR) or fluid replacement drinks (FR) containing less carbohydrate. Since chocolate milk has a similar carbohydrate content to that of many CR, it may be an effective means of recovery from exhausting exercise. PURPOSE: To test the efficacy of chocolate milk (CM) as a recovery aid following exhausting exercise. METHODS: Nine male, endurance-trained cyclists (22.1 ± 2.0 yrs, VO2max 65.0 ± 9.0 mL.kg-1.min-1) performed an interval workout to deplete muscle glycogen (Kuipers et al., 1987), followed by four hours of recovery, and an endurance performance trial to exhaustion at 70% VO2max (Fallowfield & Williams, 1997), on each of three days. Immediately after the first exercise and at two hours of recovery, subjects were given isovolumic amounts (based on body mass) of CM, FR, or CR, in a single-blind, randomized design. The carbohydrate content (1 g.kg-1 body mass) was equivalent for CM and CR. Blood lactate concentration, body mass, and total body water (TBW) were measured pre- and post-exercise. Time to exhaustion (TTE), average heart rate (HR), rating of perceived exertion (RPE), and total work (WT) for the endurance exercise were compared between trials using a oneway, repeated measures ANOVA. RESULTS: TTE (40.0 ± 14.7 min; 41.3 ± 15.0 min; 26.8 ± 10.3 min) and WT (626.5 ± 262.7 kJ; 590.5 ± 218.7 kJ; 398.6 ± 185.0 kJ) were different (p<0.05) (CM, FR, and CR trials, resp). There were no differences in exercise HR (169 ± 13 bts.min-1; 172 ± 5 bts.min-1;172 ± 13 bts.min-1), end-exercise RPE (16.2 ± 2.3; 16.8 ± 1.4; 17.2 ± 1.5), or post-exercise blood lactate (3.9 ± 3.3 mmol.L-1; 2.9 ± 1.3 mmol.L-1; 2.6 ± 0.7 mmol.L-1) (CM, FR, and CR trials, resp). TBW did not differ across treatments or within trials. CONCLUSION: As compared to the commercial products tested, chocolate milk is an effective recovery aid following exhausting exercise.

Drinking chocolate milk instead of Gatorade

Can you beleive it?

2007-05-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

It's thundering... this is when I wish I had a roommate. It kind of scares me.

Apparently, I'm 12.

I'm also reading a scary book... the anticipation never goes down and it's full of twists and turns. I can't decide if I like it or not. I don't know if the writer is a really good story teller for keeping the adrenaline pumping for hundreds of pages, or if he's lazy and can't take a story through natural progression. Throwing crazy stuff on a page is good for a little while, but I'd like some down time. :)

So says the lazy reader :0)

2007-05-14T21:08:00.000-07:00

I got this in my e-mail last week. Senator Cornyn visited the Gregg County Courthouse for a press conference. It wasn't an explosive story (or really even an interesting one) but, it's a memory, I suppose.

2007-05-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

:)

Hi.

I made a quick trip home this weekend. My mom had a $100 card to Target, and while I was home, we blew it.

We got a few needed things:
aerosol sunscreen
knee vitamins
deodorant
body wash

And a few un-needed things:
A season of Monk, the TV show
A birthday card
CDs
Dream Girls DVD
An Ipod arm band for running
Soundtrack to Wicked

That Wicked soundtrack is tre good. I went running today (with the new arm band) and listened to Wicked the whole time-- until it started thundering big juicy booms that ran me indoors.

It's a really fun CD.
The trip home was really fun too.

2007-05-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

I watched Everybody Loves Raymond tonight. It was the one where Robert made friends with his partner at the police department. Remember, she's the short black lady with a quick wit and limited patience for idiots?

Other than the show where Robert danced at his wedding, I think this one is my favorite.

He picks up words like "dawg", "yo yo yo" and my favorite, "That's whack (or wak or wack... I'm not so sure)."

And Raymond responds...

"Robert, we're Italian. Whack means something entirely different to us.

ba hahahahaha.

2007-05-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

I had a weird week.

It wasn't bad... just kerflunked. I felt like every story I wrote evoked an "eehhh, so-so" from my imaginary peanut gallery. No one ever said anything, but you (the writer or teacher or engineer or whatever) can always feel the dichotomy between the good and not so good work.

I have a big story coming up in a week... and have yet to start -- Well, I guess that's not completely true. I have made several phone calls, but they all hit the wall... and then slid down hitting the trash can.

If the writing referee can't call the play the way I want him to, at least the trashcan ref can still yell AND IT'S GOOD

:)

I'm working with another reporter on this piece, which is not my favorite way to write, but I think it will be a good thing. Two reasons: I really like the other reporter (she's nice) and enjoy reading her stuff (she's good). We've also written another story together and it turned out ok. So, hey!! That's not too awful! But, still... my independent flesh likes to do things on my own :)

That side of me - that prideful, self-sufficient SJ - has been a topic of self-talk for a few months. Either it's getting worse, or my God has chosen that particular area of my life to show me what life could be if only I would take the hand being offered. Either way, it's a personal attribute that gets the Vegas-glitter treatment...

Meaning, when I have that gut reaction to close a heart door so I don't get hurt, or when I have the urge to not ask for help, or when I just itch to abandon ship and captain my own raft... I know what I'm doing. It's not a second nature thing where I don't realize that I'm doing it (like popping gum or clicking a pen). It's as clear as if the neon signs and feathered show girls moved into the barn down the road. Quite noticeable.

Ooooh, yes. I know that I am actively making the decision to keep my title of President of the deserted island.

All hail me... All? Ummm... you forgot, Sparky... you're alone here :)

Hahahaha.

I've been really drawn to the study of the Holy Spirit. For the past week it's been my thang'. And there's one verse that I really think you would enjoy too. It's in 2 Cor. 5. I'll just write the whole thing here. It's not that long.

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

Nice, aye? So that mortal may be swallowed up by life. Humm... and right after that Paul said that God made us for that (hummm...our forever purpose, could he mean Heaven???) and that God gave us the Holy Spirit now as deposit for what's 'round the bend.

So, if I understand this correctly (no promises), then doesn't that mean that although our insides groan for heaven (no pain, no hurt, no hunger, no fights)... with the arrival of the Holy Spirit, we can experience a little of that here on Earth?

I think it does. That if we quiet ourselves and recognize what sits inside of us (Eternity) instead of filling out my stupid hour by hour day-planner... we can tap into that life.

That the removal of that pain and suffering could be closer than we think. Good example... with the last big story I wrote, I was so beyond frazzled. It was bad because I forgot what I have in my chest. I totally don't have it figured out, but after that horrible experience I remembered the sanctuary of the soul, a place where God can speak and actually be heard over the cell phone.

So, verrrrrrrry long story short, with this upcoming big story, I've not gone crazy! That's good! I'm still worried, but it hasn't taken that life.

The Holy Spirit swallowed up the mortal.

2007-05-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

2007-05-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

I put a few new pictures here

2007-04-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

My weekend

- The zoo (I like elephants)
- Laundry (clean clothes are good... except just remembered... forgot them in the dryer)
- Prepare portfolio (be gone 4 ft. stack of papers!)
- Clean house (pinesol... mmm)
- Dinner with friends (yes, very good)
- Lively conversation (you too? me too!)
- Read a whole book (not good, not bad)

2007-04-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

In among the magazine shelves, the newest self-help books and the editorial on Good Morning America...have y'all noticed this?

In the past year, going "green" has turned hip.
In the past month, I've seen morning news show hosts "ooh" and "aww" over a wedding table placement made out of recycled materials and no-ship flowers (driving the pretty pretty petunias hundreds of miles from the farm to the florist lets loose a lot of pollution).
Tax commercials are even getting in the gig, showing prospective customers how they can get money from Uncle Sam by using solar power in their homes.
In the past week I've seen a Glamour magazine article yelling the same message...

"We must care for what we have."--- HEY!!! Me too :)

Wow... when did this happen? When did being environmentally conscious become a t-shirt logo.

I think it's AWESOME that people are taking notice to water usage, except, when something takes hold in this society... it normally turns militant.

I'm envisioning a paper-plate burning to make a statement about our disposable culture.

hehehe, probably not :)

Also, I guess... I'm just a little disappointed that the whole idea has turned so... popular, rather than care-driven. But, even if it's for the free recycled soda coozy, I'm glad that people who didn't used to care are now donning a reflective orange vest to pick up trash on the side of the road.

Celebrities like Madonna and Al Gore are getting the credit, while agriculture (the original naturalist) still doesn't get any props. I think about all the work the Texas Parks and Wildlife, Texas Cooperative Extension, Farm Bureau do in the name of education and research for environmental quality. For no lip service.

I'm such a snob... they don't need any back pats, but I'd like to see ag at least mentioned in the national mind for being partly responsible for the cool new burlap bag shoes in Foley's window.

Ag is hip to the green push.

2007-04-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

My hometown church served Lord's Supper at Easter.

Yes.

Good.

Why?

Because...

I had been thinking about how... how can I write this. I had been thinking about how a lot of Christian teachers say that to make God happy, or for you to be happy in your Christian walk, or to make God really love you, you need to be perfect. Sinless if you will.

(***Disclaimer, I know that we are called to be like Christ and Christ was perfect, alas, we are to be perfect, but there's a line there... I think it falls right beside the fact that I'm not Christ. Huh... who knew? But, still I know you can go too far with this way of thinking, just like you can go too far with the drive to be perfect. So, walk with care.)

So, if that were the story: if us being good made God happy... then... why do we celebrate Easter? If us being good made God happy, then why did God feel the need to send Jesus to earth? If us being good made God happy, then why did Jesus have to die.

That's not a hard message to send out.

Hey, kids: Be good or you're not my favorite... and we all know where my non-favorites go (points down)

No, rather God's message was, what?

I come to give you life.

It is for freedom that I have set you free.

I'm tossing your sins as far as the east is from the west.

Drop off your burden at the cross.

I don't come for the healthy, but for the sick.

Yeah? I think Christianity has become too synonymous with morals and conservatism and Ann Taylor with pearls (although I love Ann Taylor and pearls). God's love is unconditional even for those who struggle.

You think so too?

So, next time you hold the bread and grape juice (hahaha) remember that Jesus wasn't sent to remind us that we better behave or don't dare approach the throne... he came to say he is love and then he died to take that sin we won't let go away from us.

I love Easter. Spring seems to be a time for starting anew, but that fresh start is offered any day of the year.

2007-04-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

There's something deliciously exorbitant about having your fingernails and toenails painted the same color... especially when that color is pink... and you're eating yogurt.

I'm not and they aren't, but still.

I think commercials have finally penetrated my psyche.

It's a strange combo of Yoplait and Talbot's

2007-04-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

Leave it to other people to put into words what's swirling around my head.

Had dinner with a friend Friday night. She came in for a funeral -- for a 20-year-old. He was eating at Texas Roadhouse with his girlfriend in College Station when he took a breath and died right at the table.

Right at the table... probably before he ate his favorite green beans.

I don't say that irreverently... you'll understand after you read what my friend said.

"Stephanie, it was like God just bonked me on the head... was his life any less real... any less fulfilling... any... less, just because he hadn't gotten married, had kids, gotten a job... all the things that I want?"

(that was a paraphrase, by the way)

No, his life wasn't any less real. My friend said he was a believer. At the funeral, she said his mom kept a smile on her face, because "she knew that he was in a better place."

First off, wow, I that's insane, where I am now, I don't think I could smile. I would be doing good to keep breathing myself... Jesus must have really been working in her ... second off, true, so true, he is in a WAY better place.

It got my friend, and me, thinking... why do I work so hard at things that don't matter. I'm not talking about working hard at a job or working to keep my butt equal to my jean size. I'm talking about every breath I take that isn't spent furthering something. I'm talking about idleness (a stark comparison to working, but it's applicable for me). I'm talking about "I'll do it tomorrow-ness."

If I don't do the things I want to accomplish in my life -- get married, raise a family, live out of the country, write interesting articles, blah blah blah -- will my life be any less?

Not if I don't live that way.

That means I need to drop the burden that I have to control all of this ... I need to drop what I can't control and life my life.

Like what-ever-his-face-with-the-famous-name-I-can't-remember-Christian-writer pointed about in his book-title-I-also-can't-remember... When God gave manna to the children of Israel He gave enough for the day.

Well, that's all we're promised... Manna (aka: strength) for today. He's given me enough to just take care of April 1, not enough to also worry about April 2.

I just took a deep breath... my chest rose and fell and then did it again. My lungs filled. That means I'm still here. That means there's still time. That means I'm going to do something for Jesus

2007-03-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the local Boys and Girls Club for a story today. They built a new facility, so the owners of the paper and I took a tour.

It was so, very nice.

BUT, the thing that captured me most about this group wasn't the brilliant wall color or smell of fresh varnish on their new gym floor (twice the size of the old one)... it was the zing by which their president voiced what they do within those walls and on that floor.

They build kids up, he said. They give kids a sense of belonging, a sense of responsibility and the encouragement that they can do anything. Really, anything.

It was after that tour that I realized that I probably have the best job in the world. I get to visit with people who have that same zing for issues across the board. Sometimes, a lot, of times bad stuff happens - like rapes, murders, assaults, corruption and the like - but, love always wins.

It's true isn't it? You can disagree with me if you want to, because I know bad things happen in this world. I'm not completely immune to the pain and suffering going on around me... but, it's love that makes people act... that makes people stand up and work to fix problems.

Tam and I were admiring the passion of a shoe salesman (he's more that that really, but, he makes shoes, so that's his job) who gives one pair of shoes away for each he sells. The shoes look exactly the same - minus shoe color - so, it's kind like a fashion and a cultural statement.

Anyway, I was complaining that I wanted to do something (to pull a Nehemiah and rebuild some wall for Jesus, fix some wrong)... but I don't have any particular people group screaming in my ears. I don't know where the broken wall is.

She told me that the way I was fighting injustice was by writing about it, by informing others.

...

But, I don't think I really do that. As a journalist... I feel like I should remain completely neutral and I mean COMPLETELY neutral. No lean, no slant, no shading of the issues.

I'm a wiry, young laborer... give me a hammer somebody :)

2007-03-18T20:49:00.001-07:00

Very interesting... I don't know if you can study yourself, but I noticed something about people -- um, by... watching myself (weird!).

So, I'm just going to put this out there... I didn't brush my teeth this morning. Oops. (I wanted to wait until AFTER coffee.) I realized this after I was already in the car.

"It's okay, Stephanie, just sit on the back row and you won't have to talk to (on :) ) anyone."

But, here's what happened:
-arrive at church
-sit in back
-completely forget about smell and move across seven empty chairs to sit next to this older woman who wore her sweater like a cape.

Yep, I had selective hearing with myself.

People are attracted, magnetically attracted, to other people. It's just the way we were made. (Follow me here) And we were made in Christ's image. So, if x=y, they y=x, the that means Jesus is attracted to people.

You didn't need a theory for that one.

Jesus was all about people. Which makes me think this, spurred on by a book I just read -- You know in the New Testament, when Christ just hung out with his disciples. There are lots of examples; have one in mind? Well, I bet Jesus really really happy during those times. Here were people whom, had they completely known who he was based on old testament reactions, would have been totally freaked out by God (three in one) sitting there with them belching around a fire. I mean, I bet the disciples didn't watch their words like they were at the preacher's house. They were totally real. They asked questions, ate food, talked about stuff, and... I bet even laughed when one of them tripped and ate dirt. You know?

So, here's God, hanging out with people whom he loves so much that He's willing to give it all. I just bet that was pretty awesome.

I guess that's all :) Just a reminder of how much we're loved.

2007-03-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

This article is vewy interwesting.

Take a look (What's so funny? Well, Maybe Nothing.- New York Times)

On a side note, hi :)

I woke up this morning to the sound of thunder. Let me tell you, friends, there is nothing more soothing than the sound of thunder while wrapped in a blanket, 5 minutes before the alarm. Aaah, glorious.

I got up, opened the windows and wrote some letters on the on the front porch. I folded some laundry, cooked a little for the upcoming week (salmon and a new recipe for horseradish hamburgers), hung out and went browsing in Tyler's antique shops with my friend.

This afternoon, the workout room was all mine and I ran to the Rent soundtrack... and sang most of the songs. I feel a lot better after running. I can't live this week like I lived the last one. That's part of how I got in trouble emotionally.

On a brighter note, a few good things came from that crazy last week... in particular that crazy Saturday. That day, I had two car crashes that ended in fatalities, an attempted kidnapping, a double shooting, and a drowning. Well, I scooped the T.V. news with the kidnapping and a story I did earlier about a sheriff deputy and his wife getting busted for insurance fraud. I love beating T.V. to things. It's my favorite. Plus, the attempted kidnapping was the top T.V. news story today. The paper had it in Sunday's edition. Boo-ya :)

Can I boo-ya television news?

Another good thing that came Saturday evening was a visit from a dear friend from College Station. Oh how I miss Aggieland. I wrote my brother about that - how I miss college. But know if I went back today, or if I stayed and got a job there, it wouldn't be the same. College was so wonderful because of the people... not the MSC grass or muddy boots. It was because that's where we spent our lives together.

I do miss College Station as a dot on the map, though. I read a facebook group titled "You know you're from College Station when..." and it brought back so many good memories. No one else understands A&M but another Aggie. "From the outside looking in you can't understand it..." And I sure can't explain it. It was so much more than school, you know?

Once, my dad asked me if I wished my major was something else. My answer? Never. Never, ever would I want to change that decision. It was how I met you, Megan :). It was how I met Crystal and Edith. I learn so much about myself in your love :) It's true! It's true.

And, you know... I probably wouldn't have followed through with Estonia had it not been for Ralph's scholarship and convincing. Oh yeah, and Edith's nudging. Can you imagine? I wouldn't have met Tamara, Katherine or my sweet Robin. I don't even want to imagine my life without y'all in it.

Oh man... I heard a good analogy today. It was about how we don't know what's going to happen in our lives, but if we're with and following God, it will somehow end up for His glory. Well, anyway, the analogy went... (switch into story mode)...

This guy was on a date during an Aggie (*team name changed for relevancy*) football game. He was recording the game on a VHS back home, but got a spoiler text message that said the Ags had won.

Well, back at home and watching the game, he said the first three quarters were brutal. His team was losing, and to make it worse, the Ags fumbled with only seconds on the clock.

At that point, he said had he not known the ending, he would have been "kicking things and yelling"... but because he knew the Ags were going to win, he said he couldn't stop smiling at each failed play. He said he "couldn't wait to see how they would turn it around and win."

Well, I'm a screw up, no really. Still, there have been some pretty awesome things happen in my life. I don't know how... I'm not too good at life, so it wasn't at my hand. So, knowing the ending... I guess I'm a little excited to see how God is going to turn the game around.

You know? Did that make sense?

2007-03-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

Forgive the down-ness that follows... This made me feel better.

It's Kendra's latest post. She talks about not seeing the reality of how taken care of we really are.

2007-03-08T21:19:00.000-08:00

I could be losing my mind.

I've become a worrier and slightly OCD. I can't sleep because I'm worried about a source questioning the article. I can't sleep because the dishwasher isn't emptied. I can't sleep because I'm scared I won't get it done.

Pretty much, I just can't sleep.

My stomach gnaws at itself; I can't take care of myself and it's stupid.

When other people worry, I tell them that no matter what, in the end there are two results... either you fail and everything will still be okay, or you succeed and everything will still be okay.

So, there you go.

Then why am I so anxious...

I feel so overworked and so under skilled.

Bad weeks normally happen when I work 12 plus hour days... and yet, am still handed stories. That means I can't be proud of any of them, therefore feel like I'm not doing my part because I'm not improving the paper.

Plus, when I'm working so much, I get home just long enough to wash my face and try to unwind... then lay in bed, staring at the clock.

With no quiet, calm time with God and no real digging in the Bible... I have no protection and my weak (puny too, because there's not enough time to run) body gets bombarded and knocked down by the Devil. Not the one with plastic horns and a tail, but the one who tries his best to lodge lies in my head that make me feel less loved, less worth it, less rescued.

I don't know if I need a vacation or some encouragement... I could go for some encouragement.

Maybe after my big story is done (or at least started) I'll feel better.

:)

2007-03-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

I bought a fishing pole,

a handful of lures,

and a fishing license.

Then... I went fishing!

It was really nice, too. A work friend and I went for a walk in a park nearing the city limit sign, and, in addition to several playing fields and a walking trail, found a pond. Cool, huh?

That same day I went to Walmart and bought my new toys. Then, the next day, I used them.

It brought back a lot of really good memories that I can't place... maybe a better way to phrase that it is it brought back a lot of really good feelings that reminded me of the past.

It was just me, in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, ratty tennis shoes and dirty hair in a hat... windows rolled down and sun roof open... country music on the radio, with no schedule, just going to fish. A friend came too.

It was really nice. The only problem was that I had taken allergy medicine before and started getting really sleepy. I had gone to Home Depot's garden center earlier and guess got bombarded by pollen or mold, or... something.

When I got home I stretched out on the couch and could not keep my eyes open. You sleep really well when you're doped up on Benadryl. I had forgotten.

:)

Didn't catch anything; maybe next time.

2007-03-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

It's a difference in opinion, yet, I think I'm right. :)

We have a strain of flu going around the office. Okay, okay... it's not quite an epidemic yet, but there are two documented cases of the shakes, upchucks and feverish overall bad feeling. One of those two afore mentioned cases won't stay home from work. SHE'S KILLING ME! Literally.

I'll give fake names to the two so it isn't quite as confusing. Nina (the first worker to fall ill), Pinta (the second) and the Santa Maria (I'll give myself a code name just to keep the trio together.) Anyway, Pinta and another coworker were discussing how Nina should be at work because Pinta was giving it her all, therefore Nina should too.

Pinta woke up last night, from her own account, five times shaking and sweating. Yes. That's right. Dizziness soon followed.

Nina has been home three days all achy with a fever and constant vomiting.

Do I want either one of them at the office? No, Santa Maria says absolutely not.

Why is there still a stigma that if you go home sick, you're not a good worker. It's seriously viewed upon as lazy.

I strongly disagree and the data backs me up. You waste more of the company's money in lost productivity when you work sick and you put everyone else in the office at risk for the same thing. That puts worker's families at risk too. It's not worth it.

I understand stories have to be written and deadlines don't waver for even the sickest dog, but, have a heart... work from home.

Be a hero on your own time.

Thanks and gig'em

2007-02-28T21:32:00.000-08:00

My day:

A is for agriculture, which I miss dearly!
B is for black, today's self-imposed dress code (with Stephen’s turquoise earrings!)
C is for cupcake awards, an accolade I made up to present to the week’s best reporter
D is for digital camera. I took the pictures for the initial story on a hospital shooting today!
E is for egg, of which I have a new fascination for (rivaling my button fetish)
F is for flu, which has claimed two in the office. (aaah!!)
G is for goat cheese on wassa crackers… yum.
H is for haunches, which I think is a funny word :o)
I is for inopportune timing. I got two really good story tips while hitting the shooting story pretty hard and couldn’t give a lot of time to them.
J is for jokes. I need some new ones for a chuckle.
K is for kind acts, which are my favorite.
L is for library, because I had to drive home at lunch to get a due item (Guys and Dolls!!)
M is for musicals, I love to sing their songs!
N is for New London, TX, my newest big story! (the plan is to interview Walter Cronkite)
O is for overseas trip, which I'm ready to start daydreaming about.
P is for perfect day, which I’d like to plan for a day this weekend!
Q is for the bucket o’ questions that I fill to the top.
R is for random music notes sung loud and out of key.
S is for the shooting story that hijacked my day.
T is for tryouts. cheerleader tryouts were this afternoon and I thought about my two favorite high schoolera all day.
U is for umbrella which has been banished… what a beautiful day!
V is for the vegetable soup I had for dinner. Homemade!
W is for water conservation, come on people!
X is for x-treme, I really really want to go backpacking in the mountains, woods or someplace pretty. YEAH, woo, YEAH!
Y is for yellow, the color of the blooming daffodils in the park.
Z is for zzzzzs. I worked a long day, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., and am ready to rest my head

2007-02-23T21:34:00.000-08:00

Well, another week... another dollar... another time sheet WAY over my 40 hours.

I work too much.

Oops.

But I kind of like it. Now, I don't like getting home so late I can't run, but I like writing. I especially like writing around 10 p.m. or so when the day is winding down,deadline for the next day's paper has passed and I can bask in the relative quietness of the scanner and copy editors musing over AP rules and such.

Tonight I worked on my story about Overton. Here's the just of it -Last year, four people died in seven months because they lost the battle between Lexus and Locomotive. When you go asking questions around a small town, you discover just how wary they are of outsiders.The city manager bailed on four of our appointments and then refused to return notepads full of messages. I finally got tough with him, and we talked. No pain, fella. It's okay.The police locked their lips too.

Sometimes I don't think I make for a very good reporter. I loooove to tell a story. I loooove to put words on paper.

But...Sometimes, I don't like the hounding part (expect when I do), the pushy part (except when I do), or the difficult research part (except when I do).

I'm just a study in dichotomy aren't I.

Oh well, if I don't understand myself, I can't expect anyone else to.:)

2007-02-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Guess what?

I went out to eat with some co-workers tonight and ordered oysters topped with spinach and feta cheese, hold the hollandaise sauce. Mmmm, huh?

Well, they brought me the wrong thing, and then remembered they didn't have any more feta. "Oh well," I thought. I'll just get plain ole' plain ole' oysters on the half-shell. That'll still be good.

And they were, with horseradish sauce and everything.

When it was time to go, they said my oysters were ON THE HOUSE! Man, I love it when that happens!

Yeah, Woo, Yeah, Woo!!!

2007-02-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

Someday, I think I'd like to live like this.

Do you think I could do it?

2007-02-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who is questioning God. Man, the problem's a cinch to type out, but so frustratingly difficult to help. He has a Christian background... the bad kind, the kind that says you're never good enough. I mean, it's true. We aren't good enough for Christ. But the part that his past is missing... the part his heart is aching for (I can tell) is the grace part. The forgiveness part. Duh, we're not good enough. DUH! But Christ didn't die on the cross so his children could wallow in self-hatred... He died to set... us... FREE! Freedom, that's what Christ, the real Christ, wants to bring to my friend. Buddy boy's a thinker, that one, and relies a lot on science-like explanations. Christ does not fit any kind of theorem or thesis or temperature reading. He brings his love completely unearned... completely free, for all sorts of takers.

Life... that's what a life with Him brings. It's not always great but it's a real life that means something. (I'm not talking about Christian "morals," or outreach... but real meaning.)

When talking about Jesus, the main draw I hear for coming to Him is the simple choice between Heaven and Hell. Yep, that's real... but it doesn't kick in until you're dead. Right?

I think equal to the promise of eternity in Heaven (whoa doggie) is the promise of life. The Holy Spirit swoops into you. You have a plan. You have forgiveness. You have love. You have LIFE.

Life is a big deal. Philosophers try to define it. Singers sing about it. Therapists break it down. But, Christians, we live it... Yes (again) it's not perfect... but it's the one for us. Does that take trust? Yep. But is that another great part of life? I think so.

2007-02-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

A few things:
1. Catch Phrase is an intensely entertaining game.

2. I am fueled by hugs.

3.The smell of a school bus, the inside of a school bus, really takes me back.

4. San Marcos is a lovely town with lovely (at least two, I'm sure of) people.

5. I'm slowly losing the ability to hold a non-awkward phone conversation.

6. Podcasts are my new favorite freebie.

2007-02-12T20:51:00.000-08:00

balneology \bal-nee-AH-luh-jee\ noun : the science of the therapeutic use of baths

Isn't that a wonderful word?

2007-02-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

I love tea.

yep yep

2007-02-04T19:45:00.000-08:00

Hello :O)

I watched Cinderella today. "Sing sweet nightingale." Oh, memories flood my mind! But you know, I had forgotten how odd the little mice were. They spoke so fast and so high... and with a very strange accent. Truthfully, watching it today, I didn't know what the little mice were saying. I don't remember not being able to understand the mice when I was little. Did Disney find some special pitch or vernacular that adults can't understand? They can do it with cell phone rings. Did Disney brainwash America's youth while Mom and Dad sat next to the kid on the couch? :O) Hopefully they brainwashed us to do something good :O) :O)

I love Disney movies, especially the (comparatively) old ones. No Nemo. No Cars. No Over the Hedge... BRING ON GORDY and ALADDIN!

Good times :O)

2007-02-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

I have discovered just how separated I have become from the outside world and how close I am getting to my immediate world.
Two reasons for this discovery-
One of my co-workers came over to my desk, I'm guessing to kill a little time. It was probably 7 or 7:30 and I asked him why he was still at work. He has three young children at home and I told him he should go tickle all of them :O). He said "good idea" and asked me what I did after work, speaking his imaginary guess of me coming home to a "puppy or something." I told him I go for a run, talk on the phone, cook dinner, read, watch TV or make crafts, but the main thing I did was talk on the phone. Where are the people in my day? There are people on my phone and no shortage of them to talk to, but where are the bodies that hold my hand when I'm sad and pat my back when I need encouragement and laugh until their cheeks hurt?

Well, it's starting to turn out that they're at work. I had a real conversation with one of the younger reporters today. A real, true, honest, genuine conversation about faith and love, two of my favorite topics :O). We shared our true selves. We spoke of the past, present and future. If we weren't at work, we probably would have hugged, it was that nice. Now it wasn't anything out of the ordinary if you have friends, but for me, it was very special to share what the Lord has taught me and what He is teaching me right now.
Eeek, I don't have anyone to share what the Lord is teaching me? That is bad news. I've gone to church and feel God through worship there, but honestly haven't put forth much effort in making friends. Although not a good thing to feel or judge, I get the vibe that if I were to hang out with them, I would feel pressured to act like I had it all together. And HA! I don't have it all together :O) But I'm learning everyday and am truthful about it. So, I'm still searching for a genuine community where I can share myself unabashedly and where hugs are free and where there's always time for coffee with a friend.

So, as I grow ever increasingly distant from present reality, I'm growing closer with the people at work. I realize that this is both a good and bad thing in idea, but, you know, it's hard to judge what it ranks as when you're actually living it.

Hindsight is 20/20, so I know the question will be answered someday... as soon as tomorrow :O)

2007-01-31T21:31:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal.
I want to live life on purpose. For me, that can only happen in community. Oh, believe me, I've tried it on my own.
Before getting a job, I looked forward to my alone time. I looked forward to me being in control of me. I looked forward to a quiet house when I wanted to go to bed. See the problem there? I bolded the words just in case... The words "I" and "Me" have nothing to do with community.
Here's the sad part- I had it... yeah, it was in my house for four years. I had a community in college, but what did I do with it? I studied. (cringe) I went to meetings. I furthered my career. Man, was that stupid! Now, I would give anything to have a themed dinner with my roommates, to go running with Katherine, to go to a midnight movie with the Auburn Court house, I would have breakfast at 6 a.m. every morning, if that meant I got to share my life with someone.
I'm not writing this out of despair, but rather with hope because I know it's possible! The Lord has put this in my heart not only to better my life, but the lives of all who participate... and those who reap the rewards of happy lives... and the lives that touch the lives that touch the lives that touch the other lives, because the way we live doesn't just affect us. And what does the Lord love, but a LIVE-ER, (without the hyphen, it reads like the organ/meat. ugh. :O) ) a live-er for Him.

2007-01-29T21:29:00.000-08:00

Sad day... I accidentally erased my post. BUMMER! I hate it when that happens. So, instead of writing again (and knowing that the second was not as good as the first) I will do a little tap dance for your enjoyment.

tappy tap tap, ttttaaap tttaaap TAP TAP TAP

2007-01-27T20:28:00.000-08:00

Hello-
I covered a children's symphony today and it made me very happy.
I love children! I love talking to them, I love being around them.

I also wrote a glorified obit. I didn't enjoy the obit part, but I did enjoy talking to all his pals. I love older people. I love talking to them, I love being around them.

What does this mean?

2007-01-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

vewy inewesting

Can Polyester Save the World
NY Times

JOSEPHINE COPELAND and her 20-year-old daughter, Jo Jo, visited Primark at the Peacock Center mall here, in the London suburbs, to buy presents for friends, but ended up loaded with clothes for themselves: boots, a cardigan, a festive blouse, and a long silver coat with faux fur trim, which cost £12 but looks like a million bucks. “If it falls apart, you just toss it away!” said Jo Jo, proudly wearing her purchase.
Environmentally, that is more and more of a problem.
With rainbow piles of sweaters and T-shirts that often cost less than a sandwich, stores like Primark are leaders in the quick-growing “fast fashion” industry, selling cheap garments that can be used and discarded without a second thought. Consumers, especially teenagers, love the concept, pioneered also by stores like H&M internationally and by Old Navy and Target in the United States, since it allows them to shift styles with speed on a low budget.
But clothes — and fast clothes in particular — are a large and worsening source of the carbon emissions that contribute to global warming, because of how they are both produced and cared for, concludes a new report from researchers at Cambridge University titled “Well Dressed?”
The global textile industry must become eco-conscious, the report concludes. It explores how to develop a more “sustainable clothing” industry — a seeming oxymoron in a world where fashions change every few months.
“Hmmm,” said Sally Neild, 44, dressed in casual chic, in jeans and boots, as she pondered such alien concepts, shopping bags in hand. “People now think a lot about green travel and green food. But I think we are a long way from there in terms of clothes. People are mad about those stores.”
It is hard to imagine how customers who rush after trends, or the stores that serve them, will respond to the report’s suggestions: that people lease clothes and return them at the end of a month or a season, so the garments can be lent again to someone else — like library books — and that they buy more expensive and durable clothing that can be worn for years.
In terms of care, the report highlights the benefits of synthetic fabrics that require less hot water to wash and less ironing. It suggests that consumers air-dry clothes and throw away their tumble dryers, which require huge amounts of energy.
But some big retailers are starting to explore their options. “Our research shows that customers are getting very concerned about environmental issues, and we don’t want to get caught between the eyes,” said Mike Barry, head of corporate social responsibility at Marks & Spencer, one of Britain’s largest retailers, which helped pay for the Cambridge study. “It’s a trend that we know won’t go away after a season, like a poncho.”
Customers “will ask ‘what are you doing?’ ” Mr. Barry said, noting that 70 percent of Britons shop at his chain. “So we’re doing a lot of thinking about what a sustainable clothing industry could look like in five years.”
Consumers spend more than $1 trillion a year on clothing and textiles, an estimated one-third of that in Western Europe, another third in North America, and about a quarter in Asia. In many places, cheap, readily disposable clothes have displaced hand-me-downs as the mainstay of dressing.
“My mother had the same wardrobe her entire life,” Ms. Neild said. “For my daughter, styles change every six months and you need to keep up.”
As a result, women’s clothing sales in Britain rose by 21 percent between 2001 and 2005 alone to about £24 billion ($47.6 billion), spurred by lower prices, according to the Cambridge report.
And while many people have grown accustomed to recycling cans, bottles and newspapers, used clothes are generally thrown away. “In a wealthy society, clothing and textiles are bought as much for fashion as for function,” the report says, and that means that clothes are replaced “before the end of their natural life.”
Dr. Julian Allwood, who led a team of environmental researchers in conducting the report, noted in an interview that it is now easier for British consumers to toss unwanted clothes than to take them to a recycling center, and easier to throw clothes into the hamper for a quick machine wash and dry than to sponge off stains.
He hopes his report will educate shoppers about the costs to the environment, so that they change their behavior.
There are many examples of how changing consumer priorities have forced even the most staid retailers to alter the way they do business.
Last year Marks & Spencer — Britain’s mainstay for products like underwear and shortbread — decided to go organic in its food business; it now sells only fair-trade coffee and teas, for example. Many executives regarded the shift as a foolish and risky decision, but the store found that sales jumped 12 percent. The store learned a lesson that executives think will apply to clothes.
“Morally, we know more sustainable clothing is the right thing to do, but we are more and more convinced that commercially it is the right thing as well,” Mr. Barry said. In fact, marketing the “green” value of clothing, even if costs a bit more, may provide an advantage over competitors.
Part of the problem is that neither manufacturers nor customers understand much about how and when clothing purchases degrade the environment, since these can occur anywhere from the harvest of cotton or the manufacture of synthetic fibers to how — and how often — the garment must be washed.
“We’ve got fantastic standards when it comes to food, but it is all brand-new when it comes to clothes,” Mr. Barry admitted. “We have a lot to learn.”
In their efforts to buy green, customers tend to focus on packaging and chemicals, issues that do not factor in with clothing. Likewise, they purchase “natural” fibers like cotton, believing they are good for the environment.
But that is not always the case: while so-called organic cotton is exemplary in the way it avoids pesticides, cotton garments squander energy because they must be washed frequently at high temperatures, and generally require tumble-drying and ironing. Sixty percent of the carbon emissions generated by a simple cotton T-shirt comes from the 25 washes and machine dryings it will require, the Cambridge study found.
A polyester blouse, by contrast, takes more energy to make, since synthetic fabric comes from materials like wood and oil. But upkeep is far more fuel-efficient, since polyester cleans more easily and dries faster.
Over a lifetime, a polyester blouse uses less energy than a cotton T-shirt.
One way to change the balance would be to develop technology to treat cotton so that it did not absorb odors so readily.
Also, Dr. Allwood said that “reducing washing temperature has a huge impact,” speaking of a significant drop from about 122 Fahrenheit to 105. Even better, he said, would be to drop washing temperature below normal body temperatures, but that would require changes in washing machines and detergents.
The report suggests that retailers could begin to lease clothes for a season (just as wedding stores rent tuxedos) or buy back old clothes from customers at a discount, for recycling.
But experiments along these lines have faltered. A decade ago, Hanna Andersson, an eco-conscious American clothing company, tried offering mail-order customers 20 percent credit toward new purchases if they sent back their used garments. This “hannadowns” program was canceled after two years.
People hope “we’ll find new sources of energy, so we won’t really have to change much,” Dr. Allwood said. “But that is extremely unlikely.”
To cut back the use of carbons and make fashion truly sustainable, shoppers will have “to own less, to have less stuff,” Dr. Allwood said. “And that is a very hard sell.”
And so Marks & Spencer is thinking about whether its customers will be willing to change their buying habits, to pay more for less-fashionable but “sustainable” garments. After all, consumers have shown a willingness to pay more for clothes not made in sweatshops, and some are unwilling to buy diamonds because of forced labor in African mines.
On a recent day outside Marks & Spencer on Guildford High Street, where everyone was loaded with shopping bags, Audrey Mammana, who is 45, said she was not “a throw-away person” and would be happy to lease high-end clothing for a season. She would also be willing to repair old clothes to extend their use, although fewer shops perform this task.
But, she added: “If you cut out tumble-drying, I think you’d lose me. I couldn’t do without that.”

2007-01-25T09:04:00.001-08:00

uh oh...

Report: Seafood faces collapse by 2048

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Clambakes, crabcakes, swordfish steaks and even humble fish sticks could be little more than a fond memory in a few decades. If current trends of overfishing and pollution continue, the populations of just about all seafood face collapse by 2048, a team of ecologists and economists warns in a report in Friday's issue of the journal Science. "Whether we looked at tide pools or studies over the entire world's ocean, we saw the same picture emerging. In losing species we lose the productivity and stability of entire ecosystems," said the lead author Boris Worm of Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. "I was shocked and disturbed by how consistent these trends are -- beyond anything we suspected," Worm said. (Who is catching what) While the study focused on the oceans, concerns have been expressed by ecologists about threats to fish in the Great Lakes and other lakes, rivers and freshwaters, too. Worm and an international team spent four years analyzing 32 controlled experiments, other studies from 48 marine protected areas and global catch data from the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization's database of all fish and invertebrates worldwide from 1950 to 2003. The scientists also looked at a 1,000-year time series for 12 coastal regions, drawing on data from archives, fishery records, sediment cores and archaeological data. "At this point 29 percent of fish and seafood species have collapsed -- that is, their catch has declined by 90 percent. It is a very clear trend, and it is accelerating," Worm said. "If the long-term trend continues, all fish and seafood species are projected to collapse within my lifetime -- by 2048." "It looks grim and the projection of the trend into the future looks even grimmer," he said. "But it's not too late to turn this around. It can be done, but it must be done soon. We need a shift from single species management to ecosystem management. It just requires a big chunk of political will to do it." The researchers called for new marine reserves, better management to prevent overfishing and tighter controls on pollution. In the 48 areas worldwide that have been protected to improve marine biodiversity, they found, "diversity of species recovered dramatically, and with it the ecosystem's productivity and stability." While seafood forms a crucial concern in their study, the researchers were analyzing overall biodiversity of the oceans. The more species in the oceans, the better each can handle exploitation. "Even bugs and weeds make clear, measurable contributions to ecosystems," said co-author J. Emmett Duffy of the Virginia Institute of Marine Sciences. The National Fisheries Institute, a trade association for the seafood industry, does not share the researchers alarm. "Fish stocks naturally fluctuate in population," the institute said in a statement. "By developing new technologies that capture target species more efficiently and result in less impact on other species or the environment, we are helping to ensure our industry does not adversely affect surrounding ecosystems or damage native species. Seafood has become a growing part of Americans' diet in recent years. Consumption totaled 16.6 pounds per person in 2004, the most recent data available, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. That compares with 15.2 pounds in 2000. Joshua Reichert, head of the private Pew Charitable Trusts' environment program, pointed out that worldwide fishing provides $80 billion in revenue and 200 million people depend on it for their livelihoods. For more than 1 billion people, many of whom are poor, fish is their main source of protein, he said. The research was funded by the National Science Foundation's National Center for Ecological Synthesis and Analysis.

2007-01-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

Dressing scandalously. Accepting abuse. Cutting one another down.

Why do women live like they're not good enough for the best? I've recently been overwhelmed with the desire to just shout

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THE WAY YOU'RE TREATING YOURSELF!

Somehow, the devil has inched his way into men and women's hearts to think that we're just not enough on our own. So, to make up the difference we feel on the scale, we do things that may grant attention... but don't improve.

I have a friend who teaches middle school near Tyler. She talks a lot about how they disrespect themselves by denying education, by using fowl language, not wearing a lot of clothes and even discussing things that are sexual in nature. I want to take all of these girls and just tell them that they are so special. And I want to take these guys and tell them that they are so special.

People may say that it's the style of the times (dressing too mature and being hateful), but, really... I am in the times... I'm not an old person, I'm a fresh-cracked farm egg straight from my college nest. Rather than blame culture and Brittney Spears, I think a lot of it goes back to shame we feel as humans. If you want to blame someone, blame our first culture pop stars - so... thank you Adam and Eve.

If we lived like Proverbs 11:12, Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion, I really think we (women)would change our mind at how we acted. Who cares if a pig has a gold ring in its nose? It's still a pig. It still eat cow manure. It still smells. (and this is coming from someone who loooovvveesss pigs... another lister else could go on with this pig-putrid talk).

So, what is outward beauty, what is a 3 inch mini skirt, what is a cleavage enhancing shirt, if you're just a pig on the inside. Inward beauty ladies... inward beauty is where it's at. Inward beauty leads to respect because, face it, I'm worth it. Inward beauty knows that I'm okay, no, forget okay... good... forget good... best... forget best... LOVED! That you are loved by Jesus. I haven't channeled some crazy talking preacher... you really are loved by Him. Love is all anyone wants anyway right? That's why people hurt one another in talk and action. That's why women disrespect themselves.

So, I guess the story part of this is, the feeling has prompted me to the point of opening my mouth and creating awkward moments for myself.

What else is new?

Maybe if this gig doesn't turn out I'll take up harrasing middle schoolers about how wonderful they are.

2007-01-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

My apartment smells like ginger, and I like it :O)
I can read your thoughts...
"Why is the scent aggressive enough to muscle into dishes opposite as cookies and Thai food now wafting through your collection of wooden spoons?"
(that is what you were thinking, right? right.)
Well, it's because I made this...

GINGERBREAD GRANOLA... oh boy, oh boy :O)

There's something very Zen about granola. I'm not sure what it is, but I almost felt a little unworthy mixing the ingredients in my kitchen where fakies like spray butter and the sugar-sub Splenda are routinely used. Maybe it's just that I just haven't preformed my life quota of yoga's downward facing dogs yet.

It does make you smile though, huh?

2007-01-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have straight hair (Thank you Robin!) :O)
Plus a few other favorites!

2007-01-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

I watched some 20/20 copycat earlier today where the anchors detailed three different cases for murder and kidnapping. It could have just been the journalistic spin, but in each of the cases, the defendants looked pretty guilty. Yet, at arraignment, they each pleaded non-guilty.

Wait, y'all would know one of them- Michael Devlin. He is suspected of kidnapping two boys in Missouri, one in 2002 and one just last week. Police searched his apartment and found BOTH of them! Yet, when brought before the judge, he said he wasn't guilty. WASN'T GUILTY? How, why... what??? The boys were kidnapped, and were found in his home!

I understand that we need to continue the precedent of "innocent until proven guilty," but why say you're not guilty when you know you are? Why can't lawyers use their skills to defend the people where there's at least reasonable doubt.

I guess this is a stupid rant, because why would you want to say you did something bad and get punishment if you have the opportunity to say you didn't and get less?

But, still...

Arrrgg, there wouldn't be a problem if people just told the truth, oh (HA) and didn't hurt one another :O)

2007-01-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

I want to introduce you to one of my new favorite blogs....

http://www.28cooks.blogspot.com

Get ready for some gooooood cookin'!

2007-01-14T19:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been moved by a radio spot? I hadn’t either….Until while driving to Henderson, I was listening one of the MILLIONS (okay, there are probably four or five) of Christian radio stations we have here in East Texas. One of them was sponsoring a radio talk show. I normally don’t like these things (all sweet talk and no meat), but they were talking about service so I listened.Truthfully, the real reason I was listening was to find fault with what they were saying, so (of course) I was mentally picking apart every word. If you've ever done this, you know it’s kind of hard to really listen when all you're doing is building a defense.
But then, the interviewer said something so nonchalantly, so unflappably that I know she wasn’t saying it to be cool or sound Christian -- it’s dumb really that I was moved by this… but she said, “I made a promise to God…. (and she went on). She made a promise to God. A promise to God…. Aggggg, I love that wording and I don’t know why. I’m a big promiser. I won’t say “promise” unless I know 100 percent that I am going to do the afore mentioned thing. I just won’t. But, her responsibility to pay up was even bigger... she made a promise to God. I guess this struck me because I had been thinking a lot about the relationship between God and man and how God makes all the promises to us. There are the big promises like: He promises to love us (no matter what). He promises the Holy Spirit will live inside of believers (totally cool). He promised never to flood the earth again (too many Sunday school lessons, did you really think I’d leave that one out? :O) ) And, the ones I've been pondering lately, the promise to never leave or forsake us, the promise that He has a plan for our future that is sure to bring hope, and that the Lord is my helper.

So, I had been stuck on what God has promised me... and was tapping my foot thinking He hadn't made good on them yet. HOWEVER, what a bummer for God... I had forgotten the promises we make to Him. For example, Jacob promised his worship and a 1/10th of everything in exchange of protection. Hannah promised her son to Him. The sailors that threw Jonah overboard were so freaked out about the storm and tossing homeboy over, that they made promises to God to escape punishment. Me? I've made promises too, the main one being my life on the alter. But, like the sailors, I too have pinky-sweared stuff that I thought would get me out of trouble.

The radio lady (I’m kind of putting words in her mouth, but…) reminded me that I can made ambiguous promises too, because the Lord can read my intentions. Promises offered like, love and acceptance may sound both hippie and hazy to you… but to God, they’re promises nonetheless that mean something special between the two of us.

2007-01-03T20:32:00.001-08:00

Austin e-mailed me with this job....I want this job....

Position Opening

Communications Director
Texas Cattle Feeders Association

The Texas Cattle Feeders Association has an immediate opening for a communications director located in the TCFA office in Amarillo, Texas. TCFA is looking for an excellent communicator who has 3-5 years experience in agriculture, preferably in the cattle industry. This position requires strong news and feature writing skills as well as the ability to speak in front of a group, and be the association's spokesperson with the broadcast and print media.

The TCFA Communications Director is responsible for writing and editing a weekly newsletter and the Cattle Feeders Annual, conducting association media relations and crisis management efforts, among other duties.
---------
Oh agriculture... my love still germinates, grows to maturity and is harvested for you (and only you) :O) I MISS AGRICULTURE! Never had a green thumb, but my brain was once the color of mashed peas...And what's worse is I think I'm losing it! In my prime I knew about cattle, goats, hogs, horses, sheep, oranges, corn, wheat, grapes, cotton, pumpkins, honey, and more. Now I'm so far removed, I didn't know Smith County was in a drought. The only vegetation I see is landscape watered four times a week. One of my dreams used to be international ag program building. I wanted to create programs that both conserved water and helped those who already didn't have enough. You know, I still want to do that. I don't know if it's because working in water is my adult version of a child wanting to be a princess as a grown up, or if it's something I really want to do because it's why I was made. I guess I'll just have to wait and see, especially since my lease lasts until Nov. '07!

2007-01-02T17:26:00.000-08:00

I want to be a GREAT writer. Good isn't going to cut it anymore. I want to write the words that readers touch, see, smell, FEEL. I want those words to mean something.

Now... how do I do that?

2006-12-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Those of you reading this, you are probably the same ones that I have complained to about my life (void of people) and job (being stupid).

Megan, I told you my job wasn’t really a job.

Tamara and Katherine I’ve told you I wasn’t good at what I did, so I was unhappy.

I’m sorry. In an attempt to be genuine in our friendships, I wanted to tell you the truth… which meant I unloaded all the negative feelings I was hiding from the other people in my life, specifically my coworkers.

The real truth is…
*I am enjoying life (like whoa.)
*I’m learning tons of stuff (I got a paper two minutes off the press the other night… COOL!)
*I’m starting to be genuine in my relationships (no more phony SJ.)
*I love going to work and writing everyday (and about interesting stuff too :O). )
*I still dance to the music in my head

I realized that by only sharing the secret stuff, I wasn’t do you a favor or enriching our relationship, I was denying you the real me.

So, here I am. I’m still happy!!! I promise :O)

2006-12-22T22:04:00.000-08:00

I had my first serious breaking news story today. Yes, I've covered house fires and fatality reports, but this was a real story with people and officials. YIKES! I have to admit, I was scared out of my boots. I guess I should tell you what happened. I had just gotten in and was working on an article about a new city plan for Jacksonville, when my bosses came over and told me in confusing terms that there had been a development with the Goodyear plant. See, Goodyear workers have been on strike since early Oct. over a plan to shut down the plant. (It also involves something about employees losing their retirement benefits.) The entire union is behind them, so that means there are strikes across the country!

Talks between the union and co. finally blossomed into something that the union will vote on. They have decided to keep the plant open one more year and offer "buy outs" for retirement and health care.

I was given a press release and told to cover it. WHAT? Yikes! The photographer and I rode together and he said casually, "Hey, don't you want to call the head guy... they're on a different time zone and might be gone for Christmas soon."

Of course... what a great idea... except I was so nervous to be doing this in front of the photographer that I couldn't really think of anything to ask him. This was a new story for me (the business writer had been following it). It turned out okay... no worries, I snapped out of my phone shyness :O)

Anyway, we made it out to the picket line and I asked my questions... lots of them... pages of them... It was way too much, but I couldn't help myself. I felt stupid asking them to explain their wording to me (stuff about retirement and benefits) because if I was a real reporter I would have been keeping up with the whole mess from the beginning. But, I'm not, so I just kept asking questions.

When I got back to the office I found that I would be writing the story tag team with another writer with his own information.

That's something else that made me nervous. I had to write half of an article without knowing what he was writing about. Granted, I was told to focus mainly on the "who" (not the what) aspect of the event, but it's still hard to write together.

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow... mucho mucho stories (seriously) and nada time.

Let's see what happens!

2006-12-14T15:52:00.000-08:00

I'M ON VACATION

2006-12-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was asked a seemingly simple question today.

"Stephanie, what's one thing you like and don't like about working at the paper?"

I was sitting around a table at Olive Garden with all of my female co-workers (plus one that used to work at the paper but left to do Tyler PR). In that 30 minutes I had laughed more than in the entire four weeks I've been here. I had been having such a good time.

So, of course, I wanted to say something intelligent (especially since one of my semi-bosses was there). I want these girls to like me.

But, what came out of my mouth?

"I don't know... I like writing and I like having a reason to be nosey."

WHAT? Where did that come from? What happened to my years of training in extemporaneous speaking? How did something so unthoughtful, unintelligent and ungenuine come out of my mouth at this inopportune time?

I interviewed a woman recently whose house had caught on fire the week prior to our talk and she was so, I want to use the words guarded and rude, but I know she was probably just really nervous. Well, I gave her my phone number because she was wary of talking about the fire (the insurance hadn't been determined yet). It wasn't 30 minutes later that she called me not once but twice with more things to say. She said she was never good with speaking and could answer my questions much more fluidly if I would just ask them one more time. I did, and she kept her word!

Well, that's what I would like to do now. I would like to take back that moment and answer the question with a true comment (not a gum smacking, hair twirling answer) :O)

The thing I like most about working at the paper is talking to people who are passionate about what they do. I love, crave, linger on the conversations I've had with folks where they are genuine. I love hearing a spark in a person's voice that comes from living their life in a way that makes them happy!

I don't know if I have that spark about my job yet. I really want to, but I just don't know if it's there or not.

2006-12-10T22:09:00.000-08:00

Since I started at the paper, I've noticed my anxiety level has gone up.

Before, once I completed a task, I wrote it off. One down, un-numbered to go, I say. Now though, I could be in the most peaceful spot, contemplating none of the world's worries, then... BAM! I have a minor freak out. Did I double check that name in an my article about Mr. Snowofsdlksjie? Did I match the right person to the right quote?

CRUD! Did I?

I know in my heart that I did, that everything is okay (It had better be, I check everything so many times the computer screen starts showing wear marks around certain lines)... but there's still that deep socketed, gnawing worry... the worry that's keeping me up tonight.

I covered our company Christmas party today (lame, I know) but that was my assignment, so I just did it. I am so scared that I messed up one of my bosses names or titles or quotes... I know that I didn't... but I could be fired for that.

Oh and P.S.- I do not like my upstairs, "I wear concrete on my feet, come home at 2 a.m. and clunk around" neighbor. When it's early in the morning like that I really... really want to go upstairs and tell him to cool it mister. Maybe someday :O)

2006-12-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

What would it look like if I lived my life like it was enough. What would happen I didn't spend my time waiting for something that I wanted, that I thought I had to have in order to live life. What if I didn't think things like, "When I have a family, I'll (fill in the blank)," or "Once I have my own house, I'll finally be able to (pick a verb)," or my favorite "Once I get my feet on the ground, then I'll ___"

Yep, what would happen if I took this day and... whoa, wait a second here... DID SOMETHING with it! What if I lived everyday to its complete potential. If my day was "a sorry folks no juice left here, it has all been squeezed out," day.

That's really what I'm trying to work on. It is so easy for me to make the plans, to organize it in my head, and then never follow through.

Here, it's especially hard because this job I go to everyday is pretty time consuming and mind consuming and everything else consuming. I am salivating for my pajamas by the end of the day instead of being of the day :O).

So, here's the plan... a plan I intend to carryout. I am going to walk across the grass that separates the apartments here, knock on the door of my neighbors and say something witty, something brilliant, something like, "Hi, my name is Stephanie... Can we be friends?"

A keeper of a statement! :O)

I am going to go to the nursing home and start a relationship with someone there. "Hi, my name is Stephanie... Can we be friends?"

Oh, and I'm going to go have coffee at midnight even though I'd really much rather be asleep (character flaw, sorry :O) )

Luke said that where your treasure is, you're heart's chilling there too. So, I'm going to stop the pedestal idea that I can only do certain things once (let's recap here) - A. I have a family, B. I have a house, C. I get my feet on the ground - and take put that treasure in today... That's really where it's supposed to be anyway :O)

Yeah? Make sense? No? Blast it!

2006-11-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Another week has past... how does it happen like that? It seems one moment I'm staring at the clock or calendar swearing time is going backward. Then before I know it, the day is over. Like Saturday - My family came over for Thanksgiving (yay!). Mom and Dad drove up Friday, but I had to work the late shift. FYI- I am not a night person. It is so hard for me to display any kind of intelligence after, probably, 10. These people want me to be sharp as a tack, smart as a whip, quick as a rabbit until 11 p.m.! Wishing I was in my pajamas make the night pass by even more like a winter molasses run. I KNOW that time stopped several times that night, because I would be doing something - there would be a bleep on the scanner, I would have some phone call, or be working on some small story - and the clock would read the same exact time as when I left. WHAT???

I had to work the late shift Saturday too, but before I reported to work, we had THANKSGIVING!!!! Yes, yes we did! It was so nice. My grandma, aunt/uncle/cousins and my parents came over to my apartment so I could celebrate too! I still have pumpkin pie, turkey, ham and green beans in my fridge from that yummy yummy wonderful wonderful day.

When I went to work, I was thinking about all my family still sitting on my couch. I wanted to sit with them too! I wanted to play another round of Clue! I wanted to go with my parents around town! Alas, that night crawled just as slow as Friday (with a little more excitement around the office). However, while I was at work wishing the day over, my parents were actively living their day. They did my laundry and bought me pepper spray, fresh flowers, a bath mat and a mini-Christmas tree (they even decorated it!). Imagine my surprise coming in at 11:30 seeing my living room lit up with Christmas lights! See, they did something with their time. There is something in this world that shows that they were here, with me. I can't look in my living room, kitchen or bathroom without thinking about them, their love for me and my love for them.

What did I do with my week that made a dent in this world? I've been asking myself this question a lot recently. I really don't think that writing is what I was made to do. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love picking up a pen and organizing thoughts on paper. I love talking to people and sharing their story with other people. I love knowing what's going on and helping to make it common knowledge. BUT what did I do for others? My words didn't make someone's day better. They didn't hold someone who was hurting. They didn't unite people in community. Well, I mean, I guess in reality they did, but my heart didn't feel like it was giving. Maybe it's just the first couple of week’s weirdness, or maybe, the Lord is using this time to teach me who he really wants me to be.

Who he wants me to BE. Man, those two letters pack a mighty powerful punch. I know he has called me (just me) to something (just for me). I know it doesn't always have to be in a career where we find our real life. It can just as easily be in people, relationships outside of the work hours. That could be the frozenness I feel too as I am still community-less. Soon though, soon :O)

2006-11-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

Lévy-Dhurmer, Vent d'Automme - Portrait de Mlle Suzanne S.
[Autumn Wind - Portrait of Ms Suzanne S.]

It is perfect. I love this painting!

A few weeks ago I went to this folk-music festival where 10 or so musicians preformed their own music. This one lady, whose name I can't remember, played this song about how she wished her heart could speak in dance like the Irish, paint like the artisans or write like the poets. Do you know what I mean by heart speak? She wished she could express her life and feelings in these other ways. The chorus rounded our her wishes with, "I guess I'll just sing." I LOVED it... she figured out the way she communicates when words just won't do. She sang!

You know, it got me thinking that I don't know how I release. I like to do everything. There are times that I really do just have to dance. Equally, there are times when words are the safest and most true to form way to express. And then, I have a MASSIVE basket of paint, paper and the goodies of physical creation.

Eeeeeehhhh, oh well :O). What are the purposes of these musings anyway? Why do we even care about writing and sharing and stuff like that? Ah ha :O) I'll tell you later :O) :O)

2006-11-11T18:03:00.000-08:00

HOORAY FOR STRING CHEESE!
My favorite string cheese started putting jokes on the packaging....

What are two things you can't eat for dinner?
-breakfast and lunch!

Why they boy close the fridge door?
-he didn't want to see the salad dressing :O)

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
-he wanted a light snack

Why should you never tell a secret on a farm?
-because the corn has ears

Why did the orange go to the doctor?
-because he wasn't peeling well

Love it :O)

2006-11-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those very bad, no good, awful days.

Okay, so it wasn’t that bad… I’ll start with the morning.

I woke up early (before my alarm!) so I was humming a happy tune. I got dressed, had extra time to dance in the living room to the radio, grabbed my directions to church and hit the road.

I hit the wrong road. Ya’ll know that I have a problem with directions. My hound dog senses are a little under developed. I WENT THE WRONG WAY. I got a little cocky… I thought I knew where the beginning road was, but I was 180 degrees off. Yep.

So, I missed that church time. I went back home after driving around for 30 minutes, did a Google search for another church close by and hit the road again. I found this one, but the sermon left me confused.

I went home exhausted from a swirling mind and the missed roads. I borrowed an electric drill the day before so I set to securing a drape bar to the wall. I couldn’t do it.

I decided to go visit family in Overton.

That’s the ticket. I’m going to go see family and count my blessings instead of being a grouch. Yep, yep… let’s go

I went… I went the wrong way. This time I was led astray by a Google map. When I turned around I was already frustrated, the battery on my cell was low and I did not know how to get to Overton.

Arrg.

I turned around by the railroad tracks and as I slowed to stop at the stop sign I heard a weird noise…plua plua, plua plua. I pulled over to see what was up…. Yep, I had a flat tire.

HOORAY!

AAARRRRGGGG!

I cried.

I hate crying.

I hate feeling inadequate. I hate knowing that I can’t do something. Let’s name them. (1) I can’t find my way to a new place. (2) I can’t change a flat tire (3) I can’t do this!

I called a friend in Jacksonville to come help me, he did. He pointed out that things happen. He’s right, and what’s even better than recognizing that life isn’t perfect is that we have people to help us. People can be good. Two men with those “zoom zoom” tools that get the bolts off tires and then put them back on came by and helped out. My friend left a race he was watching to help me. My aunt worried and loved me when I got to her house.

Everything turns out to be okay. Not really a shocker... even after a bad day, life is still good... still worth celebrating and living.

2006-11-02T07:35:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know that my favorite magazine is Real Simple, of the Martha Stewart empire. It is a GREAT magazine. The layouts are clean and innovative. The paper is textured and feels good your hands. They book bind the pages so the magazine lays flat on a table or lap. It has fun quotes, great articles, quality pictures and it's not glossy!!!

Anyway, in last month's magazine they mentioned a Web site that has become one of my favorites. It's found at http://www.assignmenteditor.com/ . It's fantastic, especially the politics and research categories.

Check it out. I bet you'll like it :O)

On another note, I talked to my boss this A.M. Ahhh, there's nothing like a good dose of inadequacy in the morning. It pairs perfectly with my coffee and frozen Slim Fast. Why do I feel so stupid when I talk to new people on the phone? Whenever I pick up the phone to call someone I'm not acquainted with I have to give myself a pep talk! Talking on the phone is definitely not the way to put my best foot forward, especially in professional environment. I can talk on the phone for interviews, but those are somewhat scripted and prepared. Blast the phone :O)

I think it all goes back to the nagging question, "What do people think about me?" Does my boss think I'm smart, snooty, sparky or slothful? Then once I feel I've figured out my standing, I work on a plan to get my alliterated character traits back to where I want then to be. I'm reading this book called He loves Me!. It's all about God's love for us. The cover features a daisy, which the author uses to symbolize how we view God's love for us. You know, the whole plucking the "he loves me, he loves me not," from the center crown. "I got a job"- he loves me. "I let anger take my tongue"- he loves me not.... it continues forever. This book takes that idea and throws it on the trash pile. Then he runs over it with a tractor and catches it on fire... (hehehehe, did I go too far?)

God loves me because I am his child. He doesn't just delight in me because I held my tongue when it was feeling more like a sword out to slash somebody. Nor does he take away is admiration when I screw up and let selfishness and greed take hold of my body. HE LOVES ME because I'm his child! There's nothing I could do to make it go away and there's definitely nothing I can do to earn it. Earn it... that's the real struggle. We only want what we “deserve”, what we feel we have sweated enough to earn. God's love isn't one of those things. It is given freely... with no expiration date or checklist.

So, I guess that just shows you… God is love and bosses are scary.

2006-10-31T19:39:00.000-08:00

I have found it. I have found the jewel of the joggers, the sparkler of the scampers, the treasured trophy of the trotters. I have found the best running trail in the state of Texas! It isn’t hidden somewhere. It’s marked with a big ole’ sign and title- “City Park.” (It’s not really called City Park. It has some cute name related to flowers, but I can’t remember what it was) Oh man, it is GREAT! Trees everywhere, natural hills, multiple routes, running water, wooden bridges, and it is all conveniently located about a-mile-and-a-half from home. I lough it darrrrling. There is nothing that makes me happier that a beautiful track o’ ground (well, in truth there are multiple things that make me happier, like forgiveness and love… but I’m going for a point here). There is even a center line on parts of it. That was my favorite place to run in Troy, right on top of the center stripe. There’s something motivationally beautiful about watching your shoes thump thump forward on the yellow center stripe. Aaaugh, I love it.

So, good run today. Patty Griffin sang the tunes and God painted love notes in the trees.

2006-10-31T18:20:00.000-08:00

Oct. 30 (my first full day in T-town)

There is red dirt in my running shoes.

I knocked the iron-rich acidic soil of East Texas off my treads for the first time this morning; I guess that means I’m here.

I don’t know how long I’m going to live here, but my minimum Tyler residence will be 365 days. One year to do my thing. :O) One year to write articles that are meaningful. One year to love the people of E. TX. One year to laugh here. One year to create here. One year to grow, learn, enjoy, go all-out, BE!

I’m a little nervous about starting my job. It’s not that I don’t think I can do this (self-motivation...I CAN DO IT :o) ). But, it’s a lot of pressure. See, I have this diploma that says I can write. My bosses definitely took that into consideration when I was hired :O). So, to pull all the corners in, my performance reflects back to the university that gave me that diploma. WHAT? I know I'm going overboard on this connectivity of life theory, but MAN!

Phew. What I really need to do is just enjoy this. I like writing. These people are going to pay me to write. This is an ideal situation to be in right? :O) Right about the write? :O)

2006-10-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while (sorry Meg-a-marvelous), but here are words to come....

* I'm the newest regional reporter for the Tyler Morning Telegram! (yahooooo!)
* A little girl fainted while I was cleaning her "boo boo"
* I found an apartment in Tyler!
* My last weekend was spent in Ingleside for Crystal's wedding shower!
* I found my diploma!

2006-10-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

I think I have lost my diploma.

NOOOOOOO...

Do they make new ones? Or, a better question, where did it go? In my mind, it's still perched on the television stand back in good ole' C.S. riiiiggghht where I left it before my move.

It's amazing how much I miss that little thing. It's like my unemployment teddy bear... it provides comfort and is a reminder that I actually graduated.

2006-10-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

Want to hear a story... anyone? Anyone? No objections? Okay, then I will commence to start :O)

We have these chickens. They like to squawk and cluck and poop, but their contribution to the world pretty much ends there... that is until recently. Yes! Our chickens have started laying eggs! About a week ago, we found some nests full o' eggs but never cleaned them out because we were afraid the chickens would stop laying there (and move to a unseen location to create their sunny sides up :O) ). Anyway, I decided that today would be the day that I cleaned out the nests so that we could make things with eggs in them... and not just any eggs... our chickens' eggs. (mmmmmm, :O) ). Starting my task, soon I had gathered up about 30 eggs for the trash bag, but instead of throwing them away... I LAUNCHED them into the pasture!!!! "And she has the egg, she checks third base, winds up and lets the yolk FLY!!!" (or) "For the first time in Olympic history, Troy, Texas has a contestant in the egg throwing competition. Her past throws have caused even the most solemn faced Old McDonald to break out his celebration overalls."

Sometimes you just want to be destructive, you know? Eggs flying... cows looking... sticky hands...Yes, it was a beautiful thing.

I also learned something. I couldn't throw in high school. I couldn't throw in college. And, wouldn't you know it? I can't throw as an old lady either!

2006-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

WORD OF THE DAY (okay, it was from a few days ago... but today is the perfect day for it)- Madeleine \MAD-uh-lun\ noun
1 : a small rich shell-shaped cake
*2 : one that evokes a memory

I'm at subbing at the high school today and, ahhhh, madeleines up to the ceiling! First I guess I should stutter my excuse for being on the computer while I should be shaping young minds (or at least making sure the students don't take those minds and bang them against each other). I'm the ARD girl. When the teachers leave to go to their meetings I take their place; so, I go to a different class each hour. The class I was scheduled to be in (the home ec. class) doesn't have students until 11:50. I was kind of hoping I would get to play in there. BUM! Oh well. I am now in my mother's classroom talking to you :O).

Before I left home ec, I used her restroom. Oh man, I hadn't been in there un many many moons! I can remember utilizing her WC after FCCLA meetings in the mornings or lunch... they weren't in the actual restroom, but the restroom is part of the classroom. When we left for meetings or contests, we would use that restroom to get ready. I kind of got a nervous stomach feeling in there because four years ago it would mean I was about do so some public speaking. I guess old habits die hard. :O)

Application sentence (hehehe)-
The home economics bathroom, with its ribbon embellished mirror and half-a-decade old posters, was a madeleine for me, taking my brain on a time warp ride back to high school.

hehehe

2006-10-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Meg :O). I’m still here and eating my daily word count for verbal health. My new favorite these days is bilk, as in sorry I bilked you out of happiness by not blogging. Nice aye? Useful, usable in everyday situations…Yessssssss… NEW WORD DANCE!!! (ba ba ba bum, snap snap clap) So, here’s the story. My internet works slower than Spray ‘n Wash on a blueberry stain and I’m as patient as a football fan waiting for the electricity man to show up Superbowl Sunday. Is Superbowl one word or two? Hummm… oh well :O) Anyway, the point is I’m a loser and have been writing for me on my un-Internet laptop. Through the technology of the thumb drive I have moved my musings to the hooked up computer. I think you introduced me to the T. drive too. Huh, cool man. So, here you go… a few for you… step in to my mind little one….

Sept. 4
He’s part of every children’s book, love song and limerick – he’s the Man in The Moon and boy, was he was out in full glory Thursday. I was thinking about the moon and how it has the ability to draw people in. I mean, that dadgum piece of rock is 238857 miles away and yet we’re told to reach for it, wish on it and some even dream to walk on it.

I went to the JV football game Thursday and rode the bus (my mother is the cheerleading sponsor so I rode it with the spirit squad too). I sat in the vinyl chair, gently swaddled by the girls’ chatter, staring at the moon. It made me laugh when I realized that I was there doing the same thing four years ago! I can remember sitting on the high school band bus looking out at the moon wondering who else was looking at the same thing. Okay, okay I actually thought about a certain boy on another bus who might have been staring at the moon too (tee hee :O) ) Anyway :O) the memory made me smile. Walking out of the bleachers, the moon was at eye level and awesomely huge. On the way home, once I was driving in my own car, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it… it was just so big. That song about how we only have a set number of full moons in our life popped into my head.

“…………..” (I tried… I can’t remember, blast it)

This is my life and I want to live it ABUNDANTLY I want to say “Yes” to the Lord’s whisper/call/holler. I want to be where the Lord wants me to be… I want to look at the moon in a few years and think back to that night when I was reminded that my life may be my responsibility… you know, wear your seat belt, eat right, exercise a little to keep the ticker tocking… but it’s not really my life. I want to be on a path, the path, that I was made to be on.

Like, woah, that’s what I want.

Sept. 25
These days, 24-hours go by faster than my orange Popsicle supply, even the single packs. Moments whirl by and I don’t know where they go or… more maybe a better query is I don’t know why they’re in such a hurry to get there. I’m guessing there is one heck of a party for all the hours once they put in their time because that revolving door never stops spinning. Even without a permanent job, my days suffer from the double-time disease. However, sometimes there ARE moments that slow down. For instance, I was running tonight and the LIGHTING BUGS ARE OUT!!! It was phenomenal. I run on this road out by our house with lots of twists and tree-covered turns (think trees making a tunnel around the road), it’s dangerous because you can’t always see the cars coming, but oh is it nice for the unveiling of (one of my) favorite natural wonders. Setting the stage… I’m running on the yellow center line, watching my feet thump thump in between the solid lines. All of the sudden the fire bugs start talking to one another and little jewel flecks pop into the sky.

Wait, but that’s not all :O), before the sun even went down, there were these birds with white underbellies and wings. The sunset was so vibrant that the orange-red color was reflected onto the bird’s underside! It was really pretty.

Oct. 1
I had a happy weekend. Sigh, happy. It was the “Robin Reunion” in College Station. YES my sweet Robin bird flew in from Lubbock for a visit! Friday night Kat, Chapel, Rob, Amber and I went to Bennigans for dinner, rented a movie and had a grand old time. On Saturday I went to the L-1 tailgate (of course) and watched little bro do his corps thing. I think he’s the cutest/best/most distinguished one out there, but of course that mirrored last name makes my opinion a little biased. :O) Then I went to the lake with a bud and some of his friends — a family from Sri Lanka. WHOOP for the lake and WHOOP for new friends. They were so much fun. The dad is an Ag Eco prof, mom is very pregnant and little girl is three and entirely too cute and smart for her age. It was really fun. We then reconvened, got dinner to go from On the Border and watched the Green Mile. Oh happy day :O). I miss being with my friends, but weekends together really hit the spot. Sunday was good too. I saw sweet Edith and just enjoyed the company for the day. Whelp, there you go… a slightly neurotic, run-on sentence, non-organized post :O)

TA-DAAAA :O)

2006-08-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

I want so much to write on this thing, but really I don't know what to say. It's funny how sometimes the words just flow... and other times... well, these are the times so there's no need to explain. :O)

The truth is I should have a ton to write about. I am back at home and that means that I'm de-ja-vewing back to high school every second of every day. For example, right now I am on the computer and we have dial-up. Instead of staring at the the mouse hourglass graphic turn over, over and over, waiting for my page to load, I play computer solitaire. SOLITAIRE!!! I have forgotten how much I love that game! Because I had wireless and other faster connections at school, I haven't played in four years! (Note: Four years ago is when I last lived with my family). It feels good to be back home. It's kind of like the old re-runs of Home Improvement or Saved by the Bell... when you watch them you feel like your insides have been hugged, or like it's Christmas day (not the excitement of the day with the presents and stockings, but the consistencies of the day... part of its specialness comes because it is the same every year).

Anyway, I am enjoying solitaire again :O) (hehehe)

There's more though... I'm enjoying my new running trails, I'm so glad to be with my pup again and I just like being with my family. Speaking of family. Little brother Stephen is at FOW for the corps. I'm not sure if corps is capitalized or not... Corps/corps?? Anyway, they took his phone up Monday so we haven't heard from him. He hurt his foot the day before he left, so pray that the wound will not get infected from being in a stinky, smelly, sweaty boot all day long.

And then I found five dollars.

The End.

:O)

2006-08-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Elizabeth's baby shower today. I have watched her grow, well, have watched Anne Katherine grow :O), and it is still hard for me to believe that she and Jason are having a baby. If I believe what she's told me, she isn't scared at all. I would be out of my mind boogie-fied! They will be responsible for another human being in a little over a month! It seems like its really easy to mess kids up these days.

"I can't drink water without ice because my great aunt Gertrude went on a cruise and didn't bring me back a piece of an iceberg like she promised." That's not my story :O).... But you get the idea about how easy it is to mess up raising a baby.

The amazing thing, despite all the paranoia, is I know those two will be great parents. They're just so.... good! They were telling me about a parenting class they go to. Well, the newest rage in baby talk isn't crooning, but rather sign language!!! Yes, they teach sign language to babies before they can talk, and viola!!! they can communicate! Maybe viola didn't belong in that sentence, but it's fascinating huh? And they aren't just referencing Dr. Sign lanugage, but also the Bible and our Big Father....

They will raise one wonderful little girl. I'm excited to see how this all turns out :O) :O) :O)

2006-08-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

Greetings :O)

I have had a phrase running through my head for the last couple of weeks.

"I desire to be valiant."

And really, I do... I want to be brave in the Lord. I want to be strong. I want to be solid. I want to say, "Me Lord, send me." Jell-O legs be banished! No fear here! But… I do fear. I do shake. I do question. Buts again, the Lord always conquers those fears. He stands victorious on the other side and I still want to follow Him. I still want to worship Him. He’s big enough to handle my questions. He’s real, alive and here.

Woah baby.

2006-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hello :O) Monday is my last day of class. Today is Saturday. WOAH! I can't even process that. What will I do? Well, short-term plans are working the following week to help out the office (they're short staffed right now and they pay me :O) ). I got a really nice e-mail from them. One of my bosses e-mailed to ask what my "favorites" were, as in food, drink, colors, for a going away party. This woman has never sent me an e-mail. It made me smile :O). Right now I am at the computer lab working on my photography assignments. My final assignment is due Monday. That means that today may be the last time I come here to work. Wow, again. I talked to Tamara today and described campus to her. I like making concrete memories, and descriptions help me do that. I love the way words can stream together to form much more than a sentence... it forms emotion. How is that possible? There is a perfect word for everything, and when someone applies that word to their conversation it just feels good, like the tea has finished seeping and you’re lounging on the couch wearing soft socks. It’s just a good feeling :O) Stephen called from Fish Camp today. HA, for work I was part of a video for the Quack Shack. I sat in the blood drawing chair (eeehhhhhaaaa) and the nurse pretended to draw my blood. Now, I knew it was fake, I knew it. But seeing that needle go so close to my arm made me really nervous. I felt like I was giving blood! I had to look away and think non-fainting thoughts. I really have a problem!!! Maybe I should go get hypnotized. What do you think? :O) Anyway, the video was unveiled at the first Fish Camp and Stephen said he yelled out, “That’s my sister,” and no one believed him. I mean, I am amazingly good looking… I can see how people would think we weren’t related. (hehehehehe, just kidding) Stephen told me they believed him in the end, sighting the curly hair as the “seal the deal” genetic trait linking us together. I hope you have a good day!

2006-08-01T17:15:00.000-07:00

Good grief

2006-07-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. I am at the SCC and there is a man behind me smacking louder than any other person I have ever EVER heard. Why does that sound make me cringe. I am about to have to pack up all my things and move to a different computer. I am physcially in pain!! I have to stop typing every once and a while to close my ears. Okay, good, he's quieted down a little. Noooo... he's back!!! What is the polite way to ask someone to close their yap when chewing? There is nothing on this earth that grinds on my nerves than smacking.

2006-07-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

I had a great weekend, spent with my dear friend Amy! I went up to Dallas early Saturday morning and definitely got lost, but that was the only bad part of my trip! My first stop was at the Dallas Museum of Contemporary Art where Amy is a volunteer. It was really neat! I especially liked their photo collection and canvas covered in recycled medium. Then we went straight to Mamma Mia at the Bass Hall. It was beyond cute! The singing was great, the costumes were bright and cheerful, and there was lots of dancing!!! It was a smile maker. After the performance, we went to eat at the fantastic fantastic Rio Mambo. I'm talking, mm- mm- mmmmmmm GOOD! So so so good! But anyway, hehehe, after the food, Amy and I went to a chocolate place called Chocolate Secrets and had some (again) GOOD chocolate!!!! Oh my goodness, that day was FULL of out-of-this-world eats! We went home and fell asleep watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Ahhh, great day!

This morning we went to the 8 am church service (which spoke to my heart... more about that later), and went back to her house to have grilled chicken and pineapple, fresh tomatoes, bread and corn on the cob.

Too much of this post is devoted to food... I realize this, but it was just so so so good! I have to be careful not to view food in a gluttonous manner, but rather use it as fuel to do the Lord's work... whatever that is :O)

The only thing that is a little sad is that I had the opportunity to see both Katherine and Robin at a wedding, but I couldn't go because of car problems. These are my forever friends!!! I didn't get to see my friends and I miss them so much! That's another reason I'm looking forward to school being out... being able to visit different areas of the state to hug my amigas!! :O)

2006-07-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

P.S.- I started a "daily image" collection on my photo blog. Check it out if you would like :O)

2006-07-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

Yo Yo Yo--

I graduate in, oh... ummm, wait, let me get out my calendar... yep, 19 days.

What am I feeling? ....Emotion check- it's the all so subtle feeling of, HUH?

I graduate in 19 days??? I am done with school in 19 days??? What am I susposed to do now? My life's schedule has been shaped around the public school system. Fall- school. Spring- school. Summer- summer school. Break- spring break. When the question is asked, "What are you doing in the fall Stephanie?" My answer is always, "Going to school, silly!" Okay, so I've never been asked that question, but if it was ever proposed, that would be my answer for sure. :O).

What am I going to do this fall?

2006-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Deja view-

This morning.

Walking from Reed Arena parking with no backpack. It's raining and I have my huge umbrella made to cover a golfer and his full swing. My walking route is across the street, in front of the parking garage, under the new tunnel that cuts through Wellborn, in front of Kyle Field, through the MSC breezeway and beside Rudder fountain. I was walking to work, but I felt like I was walking to Reed McDonald to my old Extension job. This was the first time I have walked that route since last summer! Isn't that crazy? It felt good, like I was walking somewhere that I wanted to be, like once I got there I would be dried off and taken care of. It isn't the job that my heart was wishing my feet would take it to, rather it was the people.

I miss you Crystal, Edith and Megan. I miss you a lot. You know how Rutherford used to talk about Ashley refusing to wear dresses that didn't twirl? She said Ashley would stand on the coffee table and turn and turn and turn until everyone vocalized their love for her cupcake poofed dress? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the dress Ashley loved so much, but rather how she felt in it. (Here comes the corned beef) I feel like I'm wearing a twirling skirt around y'all. Being with you, my friends, makes me feel loved and appreciated and... well, enough. I feel like I am enough. That's not to say that I don't feel like enough around other people, but I know that you love me no matter what. I know that you care about my well-being. I know you would drop fine china to hold my hand.

For that, thank you! This sounds pretty pathetic, but will you three still be mine?

2006-05-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

Goodbyes have never been my favorite... saying see ya' later to my parents after high school (not so fun), waving bye my wonderful office at Extension (they continue to be wonderful) ... that awesome bowl hair-cut I had in 5th grade (well, maybe that one wasn't a bad adios :O) ). Now I'm losing my dear to heart friends family here in C.S. Megan Erin, Crystal Celeste, Katherine Marie, Tamara Gene and Robin Marie are all leaving. I'm leaving. We're all leaving. Kendra is leaving the state, semi-permanently! Everyone's leaving and my brother is just starting. I hope he has special people in his life like I did, do. Ag's graduation was last Friday and I watched it on T.V.... amazingly, I knew almost every person that walked across the stage. I'm pretty sure that television screen provided the last glimpse I'll ever get of the class of 2006 at TAMU. That was it for most of my classmates. It was a little sad. There I sat packing up the memories that these people helped me make, while they walked to the edge of the T.V. screen and away from me. The College of Ag is such a close knit group. I'm glad I got to be part of it all. I'm especially glad that the connection doesn't end.

2006-03-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

HLSR INTERNSHIP
I was standing in the hallway of the Reliant Center for orientation when I felt a push on my legs. I looked down and a precious little blond-headed, blue eyed boy held out his miniature thumb and said “Gig ‘em.” He went around to every person in our orientation group and punched out his gig ‘em on their thighs. My heart melted a little.

I am so excited to start work tomorrow! We went on our tour and the two ladies in charge of us are so much fun! They are crack ups….. this is going to be entertaining!
----
I am back… and should really look into psychic friends network, because I was right about the fun part! I had such a good time… such a good time that it’s hard to write about it with adequate electricity without the spark of the present. However :O), there is one story that I’d like to share with you. It’s the story of my Tuesday.

I worked the early shift. I answered phones, made some copies, and walked all over the show area delivering. I had worn my high heel black boots to work that day (the only day I wore them) and my feet were killing me by noon. I’m talking crying pain. I got off at 8, but as one final errand, they needed both me and my co-worker Megan to escort two rodeo people the Director’s Club…. A few elevator floor dings later and we were done with our job. George Strait was playing that night so we decided to go listen for a bit. I was 2 cm. away from going home because my feet were upset… but we had floor passes and it would be a shame not to use them.

When we went down to the floor area we ran into our boss. She invited us over to where she was entertaining former President Bush and Barbra Bush. Yes… there we were on the floor of Reliant Arena… George Strait in front of me, the Bush secret service detail behind me (in Western wear :O) ) and Mr. and Mrs. Bush to my right. Our boss told us that as soon as he left we could have their seats… fast forward to my slow motion brush with a presidential leader. He walked right in front of me and nodded his head. Barbra was right behind him. Yes, I know this all sounds very strange, and I should probably pretend and play it cool…but I was quite excited. We took their seats, I in Barbra’s and Megan in G.H.B.’s…. they were still warm :O) (hehehe)

That concert was so so so great. I never doubted it, but George (the singer) has ten fingers. You know how I can say this so assuredly? BECAUSE I COULD SEE THEM FROM MY SEAT! Yes, that’s how close I was… or at least how close I felt :O).

The story isn’t over yet! In cue with the silencing of his final note to his final song, he jumped on the back of a horse and rode around the arena… he came to were we were sitting… I stuck my hand out… my right hand… he came closer… George Straight grabbed my hand!! Aaah.. forget trying to defend myself… I screamed like an InSync fan…I might have even been edging closer to Backstreet fan status at that time.

Then we ran out to where his busses were parked and he nodded at us! How do I know it that the nod was heading our way? We were the only people there! Yes, true story… I give my word… I give my right hand… that was touched by George Strait!

2006-02-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

changed my mind...

2006-02-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

Want to know a secret?
I LOVE editing! I'm not saying I'm good at it, and my grades prove the word prodigy will never be mentioned :o), but I have to say... it is something I want more practice at. Thanks to JOUR 304, I am going to get plenty of batting practices in. SWING!
I have always loved being edited, a fact that weighs heavily on the superior-ness of my past editors. There was something almost magical about taking a few pages of words that you didn't want to claim and handing them over to another person to ... wait... wait... wait, and just like Snow White after her smooch with Prince Charming... the article becomes alive! My words are still there, but they've been shined. I think that's the true sign of a good editor, that they don't try to rewrite. That's something I struggle with in our assignments, along with adding boo coos of commas (Hey, they're breath marks for the reader! There's nothing wrong with wanting my reader to be well...ummm... ventilated.)

So,,,, I’ll,,,,work,,, on,,,, it…….

2006-02-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

Is there anything you wish you could do right now?
Yes, there is! I wish I could create a program to educate my city how important environmental stewardship is. Sometimes I feel that everything that I've read and learned on the subject is just a well-articulated millstone that drags me to the bottom of the dictionary. It's a hard concept to explain. It's hard to work caring into someone...... much harder than beating it into people :O).

Do you wish on stars?
I wouldn't say wish, although I do pay a lot of attention to them. Many nights I'll go outside and lay on the hood of my car just to stare at them. I really missed them when I lived in D.C. for a bit. I'll always remember going to an outdoor showing of My Fair Lady because we were far enough away from the city that the stars were allowed to twinkle. Wish- no. Enjoy- yes :O).

Do you like your handwriting?
EeeeeOooooo- well, yes and no. I don't mind it, but I know others have trouble reading it.

What is your favorite lunch meat?
mmm... favorite lunch meat? I don't make a lot of sandwiches, but meat wise, I like beef.

Are you a daredevil?
In my mind I am, but in real life I'm as frightened as a snail being dangled above a bowl full of salt.

Would you bungee jump?
yep-ieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Nope. This is sad, but my distain for shoes with laces has influenced the purchase of many a footwear choice.

What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
That I am a procrastinator. In fact, I should be studying for a test right now. Yep, all my materials (complete with highlighters and colored pens) are spread out on the kitchen table, but my laptop is on top of it all. It's like rock, paper, scissors... My table-layer of knowledge has been beaten by technology.

What are you listening to right now?
The hum of my computer. One roommate is sleeping and the other is at the grocery.

What color would you be?
Huh? This question reminds me of the "get-to-know-you" games we had to play in FFA. If you could be anyone who would it be and why? If you could have lunch with anyone living or dead, who would it be and why... and what would you eat? If you were a fruit? If you were a car? If you were a kitchen utensil?
****If you were an idiot!

Favorite drink?
Water

Last movie you watched?
That one with Reese Witherspoon. She "haunts" her old apartment after a serious car accident leaves her in a three-month coma. They guy subletting her place is the only one who can see her. He saves her.. they fall in love... the end.

Summer or winter?
Fall... weasled my way out of that one!

What books are you reading?
Long March to Freedom

Favorite smells?
shampoo, gardenia... any fresh flower

Any tattoos?
No, but I wrote a note on my hand to remind me to pay rent. It lasted for a week... does that count?

That's the end of this segment, titled, "Extra random knowledge about Stephanie.... good to know, but could have lived without it." This outpour is sponsored my McDonalds- the fine business where I will be working if I fail my environmental ethics exam tomorrow.

2006-02-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

I went to Bryan High School's preformance of get your "Annie Get Your Gun" last night and it was FAN-TAB-U-LOUS! They were just precious! They sang, they danced, they made jokes... it was... magical! Ooh, I can't stop smiling :O).

Even more fun than the play was the company. I had so much fun with my friends. I have good ones. We laughed a whole stinkin' lot.

2006-02-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

I saw a really fun older couple today. They were hunting for treasure using a metal detector :O). The woman was resting at Sull Ross' feet in front of the Academic building while the man was narrowing down his prize in the bushes. I heard them before I saw them... "Beep beep beep beep" It made me giggle

2006-02-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

I spent my entire day on task. Amazing huh? I don’t' remember the last time that multi-tasking didn't get the best of me, taking me so far off task that I was googling something random like the newest use for cow manure (just so you know, this morning NPR said it's being added to the coal energy plants burn. The nitrogen in the manure binds to the nitrogen oxide in the coal, reducing the amount of nox is released into the atmosphere. Nox leads to air pollution and the greenhouse effect... .but I'm just saying :O) ) No, not even finding out what people were saying about last nights State of the Union could pull me away from the tasks at hand. I did clips for the first time at work. That means that I searched the internet for TAMU articles, put them all in individual word documents, posted them, put them in a packet, and mailed them out. Phew- YES! Then I completed two scholarship essays and fixed up my resume. I made flyers for our ACT meeting and posted them. Went to class until 7 and am now home. Not so productive now, but I'm about to be back on it doggone it :O). It's on like Donkey Kong!

2006-01-03T14:19:00.000-08:00

Hidy ho campers! Well, Iäm in Estonia, as evident by these weird symbols the keyboard is making. Okay, correction, Iäm making the weird symbols but only because the ä is where the ' should be.... so bare with me as I peck through this short update. I got back from D.C. on the.... ooooh, I think it was the 14th, but I canät quite remember anymore. Being up here (waayyyyyyyyyy up here) has given me a chance to think about what God taught me through that experience. I will write about Estonia later, promise :). Anyway, I spent the last week working on my post D.C. reflection paper for class. Because that deadline was looming over my head, I was focused solely on professional growth and results results results. Now, Iäm being asked to evaluate another part of my time there. Here in Estonia people donät believe anything, yet, they believe everything. They are looking for something to give them a purpose, but it normally isnät God. Uri, the youth minister here, told us to think about the students as if they were on a -10 to positive 10 scale. Neg. ten means that they are very against Christianity. A zero means that they think itäs possible and a positive 10 means theyäre believers. He said that if a student moves up the scale even one point itäs an event to be celebrated. People donät want to hear about Jesus, and they wonät be forced. So, that in mind, we have been told to keep our testimonies Christianezze free. You know, no phrases like, 'Jesus came into my heart' or 'He saved me.' Instead we take what Heäs taught us in the past 3 months and make it conversation..... Where have I been for the past three months? WASHINGTON DC! In D.C., I was taught that I rely far too much on my Christian environment for encouragement. No man is an island... and neither is a woman. The place where you lay your head at night infuses into your psyche. I didn't have my encouraging Christian friends cheering and holding signs at the finish line each day. It made me question what I was doing. Why do I do the things I do? Why keep a joyful personality if it's just thumped on the head. I had a lot of time to observe things I never get to be around. I asked questions and seriously thought about things.

In D.C. my Jesus became a friend in real life. Understand? He is my friend, and I mean friend in the literal meaning of the word- the noun that describes a favored companion. My real, tangible friend.

I like to remember.

2005-11-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

New York pictures are posted! Excuse the captions.... I was pretty tired last night and couldn't think clearly. I'll fix it later... gator :o)

2005-11-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

What are you thankful for?
I'm thankful for a lot of things. I think they would best be written in list form.

I'm thankful for:

* The fact that I am a child of God and bride of Christ.. and the promise that nothing can change that.
* A wonderful family that loves me and that I love back with a vengeance :O)
* The fact that I have a home (believe me, living in DC reminds you that a home isn't a promised key on the key ring)
* Wonderful-dunderful friends that make life a party :o)
* I got to go to the Macy's Day Parade in New York
* I have the greatest family and friends... seriously the greatest... they're worth repeating
* I have food in my fridge.
* I am an American and a Texan :o)
* I attend the greatest university in the world! WHO6P!
* I am in stinkin' DC working on the Hill for a Congressman!
* I am going to Estonia on Dec. 28 with a great set of folks
* My friend Kendra is coming to see me in a few short days and we're going to have a blast and a half!
* I have more freedoms and blessings than I know what to do with!

I am thankful that my blessings far surpass any word limit or site information load. I am thankful that I can go to bed because I'm tired.

I am thankful for you!!! What are you thankful for?

2005-11-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

My emotions are a little indescribable. It’s weird- it’s like my life is alive and moving inside of me instead of externally. Okay, that sounds even weirder. I crave companionship, but when it’s offered, I turn inward and just want to be a fly on the wall. I love walking by myself and watching everything around me- soaking up other people’s lives and feelings. For example, tonight is one of the interns last work day in DC and we decided to go out and celebrate. Since I’m in this mood, on the way to the place I stared down and drank up every single person that passed. The windows in the Cannon building were lit up and I could see people working inside. These are the people that are shaping policy in America. I don’t know about you, but anything past securing a personal opinion is overwhelming to me with it comes to the government. It’s easy to say that education is important and complain that the system is flawed, but it’s hard to say how to fix it. That’s why I’m a voter and not a runner for officer. Anyway, as I passed by their offices, I could almost feel their passion and drive for what they were doing. I envisioned their emotions, gave them names and imagined their lives. The ATM on the corner had a line stretching 5 people. Two of them were sweethearts and were taking advantage of the lock on their time by smooching. A guy was smoking a cigar by the bookstore. The aroma almost melted into who he was. The shops were lit up and provided individual illuminated situations to contrast with the cold street. The outside world was just as captivating and tactile… yet, ethereal. The pattern the cobblestone streets spoke just as soundly as art on canvas. The moving lights on the road made it even more animated. So- there’s no point. No reason to any of this except it’s kind of fun to be a snoop you know?

2005-11-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Jane Eyre and I absolutely L-O-V-E it! I don't think I can ever go back to normal - well, what's normal anyway? - books. You know, the kind that you don't have to turn your brain on to read. I like those books, but man... Charlotte Bronte can write! Everything is so beautiful. It's a sad story, but written with such lovely language!

Continuing with the random information:
I went to a hearing today. They're trying to decide whether manure should be labeled as a hazardous material. Hmmm... yeah. How about that. Way to go Waco. It was very interesting, but at the same time very frustrating. Random two: I get to go to the CHC weekly meeting tomorrow and very excited about that.

Arrrggg... I think my office wants everyone to have a backside the size of Mount Vernon! They keep buying candy. What's your fancy? Snickers? Got 'em! Milky Way... oh they're there too! Pretzels, Nipps, Three Musketeers, chocolate covered popcorn, Hershey Kisses, Twix, Carmel, Hershey bars.... Grab 'em while they're hot, er wait, fresh, er dag'nabb'it, here :O). Goodness! I have learned a lot the past couple of months I've been here, but self-control is still on my "yet to do list." Maybe it's time to realize that dream :O). It's so hard because the candy sits on my desk and is located right in front of my face.... the face that loves chocolate :o).

I went to Philadelphia last weekend. We drove up early Friday morning (HOORAY for our nation's veterans... and not just because we got a day off!) and spent the day in one massively historic place. Wow, I learned I don't know anything about our nation's history. Texas history I know....
State bird: Mockingbird
State song: "Texas, our Texas, all hail the mighty State. Texas, our Texas so wonderful so great. Boldest and grandest, withstanding every test. O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest. God bless you Texas and keep you brave and strong. That you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long. Ba ba ba ba ba ba BAAAAA."
State tree: Pecan
State insect: Monarch butterfly

Did I know anything more about Benjamin Franklin other than he was a man of many interests (inventing, politics, scientist and musician) always full of clever quips and was pretty instrumental in the development of our nation? Nope. Do I know now? Way more than I knew before. I learned "way more than I knew before" about a lot of things. For instance... the Liberty Bell. I didn't realize just how important it is to our nation's history. It was given its name by abolitionists. They used to put bells on the slaves' heads back in that time. The "Old Statehouse Bell," as it once was called, got a new name as a reminder of the freedom we have. It's just a pretty awesome thing.

I'm not sure how you're supposed to feel when you're witnessing history. I tried to put myself in a state of mind where I could feel and imagine what it was like or what this could mean to someone else different than me. There's something.. oh I don't know.. stable yet unstable about it. It's like, these people did _(blank... rebelled for a cause, risked death, were ostracized....)__ to make our nation like it is today. They provided us with a democracy... but now it's our job to keep it. You know? It makes me a little nervous. I think our generation is up for it, but we don't react to challenge very well. I read an article that described our generation as a group that was never told no. We were praised for
everything. We were handed everything. There's not a lot of fight in us. But, sorry, that wasn't the point of this post. Just doing the whole, update.

I saw Betsy Ross' house where she sewed the flag. Saw where Ben Franklin is buried. Saw Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence was signed. It's also where the Constitution was debated, drafted and signed! Oh- and something else really cool. In the FFA opening ceremony, there's a roll call of officers and as the position is called, the officer gives a little spiel about their responsibilities. The Vice President articulates the President's role. Well, part of the Vice President's responsibility is to, "preside over meetings in the absence of our president, whose place is beneath the rising sun." The question is asked why, and the VP answers, "The rising sun is the token of a new era in agriculture. If we will follow the leadership of our president, we shall be led out of the darkness of selfishness and into the glorious sunlight of brotherhood and cooperation."

Well, the president's chair.. the one on which George Washington sat while presiding at the Constitutional Convention in 1787 at Philadelphia’s Independence Hall... has the rising sun emblem on it's top! Isn't that way fascinating?!? AAAH! I loved it. To give you a quick quote by Ben Franklin about that chair-

“I have often and often in the course of Session, and the vicissitudes of my hopes and fears as to its issue, looked at that sun behind the President without being able to tell whether it was rising or setting. But now at length I have the happiness to know that it is a rising and not a setting sun.”

Oooooh, I really liked it. Too bad they didn’t have one in the gift shop :o)

2005-11-16T18:11:00.000-08:00

Hehehe, thanks Miss Meg

What kind of princess are you?

I'm the Fairy Princess

"You are youthful, cheery, and exuberant with a sunny disposition and a mischievous sense of humor. You are very lively and are always up for a good bit of fun. You have a deep love of nature and animals.

Role Model: Titania

You are most likely to: Convert a pumpkin into a useful mode of transportation."

You know... it almost works.

2005-11-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

It's pretty late Monday night and I just got in from our intern dinner with Cady. I can't stop coughing so I just figured I would blog. My roommates are at it again. I am so tired of coming home to a war zone! Do you see that man... there's a reason I'm not pictured there with saber in hand! We're here for an internship, not verbal combat.
I want everyone to just get along. My wish can be even simpler. I wish that those who can't get along leave each other be. You don't have to be best friends, just don't egg each other on. Each of these girls are wonderful... why can't they see this about each other? Why do girls fight over silly things? What is it about the female brain that creates drama? What part is this? Do we have an over-reacting reactor? An always cocked trigger?

When people fight, I hide. I dislike it very much. I hate the build up of "the big one." I hate watching and listening to cattiness and cruelness slice back and forth on the ice created between people. I hate the tempo and pitch change voices make when gearing up to the red zone. I hate the way words cut. If I were still little I would be hiding in the closet right now. Instead I've found a safe place in my room.

Most of all I guess I hate what it does to people-- anger anyway. It cools something inside.. that special part of you that reaches out to people. When anger rules, that part dies. My friend Kendra found a quote that I really enjoy. It shows women, or people in general :O), as something distinctive, singular, numinous, unique, rare, luminous, weightless. It goes, "The only way to catch a butterfly is never waiting for the wings." In this case.. the only way to catch a butterfly is to tear off the wings. No one wants to be mean deep down inside. We really were made for relationships. There's something deep down that wants to connect with someone else. That part of us, the part that needs someone, is just as fragile as the butterfly wing. Hurting people hurt people.... why are we hurting?

2005-11-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

New pictures :O)

2005-11-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

I had Ramen Noodles for lunch Friday. I was reading mail and just casually looked at the nutrition packet. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SODIUM IS IN ONE OF THOSE 15 CENT PACKETS? I’m not a complete idiot; I knew it was sky high. What I didn’t know is that the number would ‘round the moon and back!
FAT: 8
CALORIES: 190
SODIUM: 850

It all seemed mildly innocent enough… until you looked at the serving size. That little 3X3 inch block of bonded noodles is labeled two serving sizes. That means multiply the sodium by 2! Good grief! If our bodies are 90% water, I just turned my innards into an ocean! Don’t pull off your shoes and use your toes for the calculation... I’ll do it for you. That makes the 3 ounce and self-proclaimed “America’s finest Ramen Noodle Soup,” have a grand total of 1700 mg of sodium! Eeek! Ohh!

Sodium regulates the body’s fluid balance and blood pressure, aides muscle relaxation and caries nutrients to cells. However, we only need 500 mg a day to fuel these important reactions. This is a very strange thing to think about, and I don’t normally mull over my salt intake (or in this case marinate in- hehehe)… at least not until two weekends ago. Yes, Nov. 3…. a great day…. the day… the date of my Aggie ring arrival.. the Aggie ring that is too small! So when I eat too much salt I can’t get the thing off! But then, I guess, why would you want to take it off :o) ? When I was flying home from getting it, the Texas November heat and weekend travel made my fingers swell. When I was the security line to get on the airplane I was so afraid that the security guards would make me take it off with my other jewelry. I stood there and tried to wiggle it off, twist it off but anything short of cool water wasn’t going to get the gold disc off my digit. No worries though- they didn’t even ask for me to take it off :O). To back a little more in time, on first flight down I had to eat lunch in the airport and I seriously walked all around the food court to find a place that I thought wouldn’t use too much salt.

Give neither advice nor salt, until you are asked for it.
English proverb

Oops :O)

2005-11-06T17:43:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it, I doubted the purchase a little, but my $200 plane ticket returned big time. My weekend in Texas was wonderful!!! It reminded me that even when I'm selfish and a misfit, the Lord has blessed me mucho grande! I'd say the trip was worth a love note from my Savior!

I left my apartment at 5 AM and caught the metro, and then the Amtrak train to Baltimore... where I was informed that I had missed my plane. They added my name to the next possible departure, making my takeoff a 9ner instead of a 7er. Oh well... I got a hot coco, found a seat and did two things that I had been itching to do- paint my nails and write in my journal! Hoooray! I love to write in my journal. There's something about paper that allows me to communicate truthfully. I don't have the concern of "keeping face," because my journal is just for me. It's like my soul sprouts lips. Well, I was able to write for a little bit and then catch the flight.

Chris picked me up at the airport and drove me to my parents house. It was a lovely ride. My Stephie met me at home and we drove to College Station. Then we picked up Katherine and Tamara and went to the Association where Edith and Meg were waiting for us. These people dropped what they were doing and spent their night with me! We got my ring (WHO6P)! The plan was to dunk the ring in ice cream at Swensens, but they aren't in business anymore. Not to fear! HEB has a lovely selection of ice cream so we went to survey their offered options. Carmel, whipped cream, chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry in the basket, Mom, Dad, Stephie and I checked out to gorge at home.

My grandparents came, Chris came, Jason and Elizabeth came, I got to see sweet Crystal's face (and left ring finger :O) )!

Tam, Kat, RoseAnn and I put our new golden fancies at the bottom of ice cream and went a diggin' without a spoon :O)

I looked around (after I wiped the chocolate off my face) and was just struck with gratitude at the people standing around me. I have been beyond blessed! I have the best family and friends possible. I'm not talking about the BFF that writes "stay cool" in your yearbook. No, these people are life changers. I feel understood when I'm around them. I feel loved in their presence. I'm joyful! There's a really corny quote that was being passed around on e-mail. You know the kind I'm talking about.... they're always followed by a "pass this on to 20 of your friends. If you don't you'll have bad hair for the rest of your life." However, it just might work in this instance since I know from where these people come from.

"The Lord puts some of His angels on the earth... they're called friends."

Yes, corny. Yes, dumb. Yes, these people aren't angels, but they are part of the grand tally- the blessing score.

So, what are we at? Gifts to Stephanie from God- 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.......

2005-11-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

2005-10-30T05:24:00.000-08:00

I'm learning that the old adage is true- you don't want to watch the making of sausage or politics if you ever want to enjoy either again. I'm learning that the people that I once held high as political benchmarks, now fall to the lower end... because they're human. But that is what's so amazing about our political system, the American democracy, is that it's not perfect. It's an imperfect system made for imperfect governors to rule an imperfect country, and I think it works rather well. Think about it- Bills go through so many ringers before they're passed. They're picked apart by the introducing member, subcommittee, committee, in the House, Senate, our President, and I've left out boocoos of steps! Just like 3 year olds, our law makers have to be watched and checked up on to make sure these ideas that they want enforced, really are best for the people. These members are like little kids sometimes; they'll give birthday cake to their friends and stick their tongues out at the others. They're imperfect people, but when governed by other imperfect people who want other things... hey, look'e there! We're balanced again! My favorite "keep you honest," group is the press. Yes! Who broke the news of the recent leaks? They give the American people a useful, useable, used version of what's happening in D.C., so that we can keep them accountable too. Yes, they need to be held in check too. There are some crazies, but ultimately, the people are the ones in charge here. Have address, will vote in district. We hold the vote!

So, random observation aside- had a good weekend. Went to Winchester, VA and the Shenandoah Valley to see the leaves and pick apples. Mmmm. I'm going to break out the apple recipes that I've never gotten to make before and get flour everywhere! Well yea!

New pictures

2005-10-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry, sorry sorry. I haven’t blogged in many many days. But, if the good Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise….um, 14 stories up to my apartment :O) … I am back on the blogging trail.

Soooo…. I feel like the singer on the “I’ve been everywhere,” song. …. just take a big breath and let the cities (or in my case, experiences) roll on.

I’ve written a floor speech, personal letters for the congressman, attended a movie screening for the movie Dreamer, went to a D.C. rodeo with white sand in the arena (we sat behind the president of smokeless tobacco co.), went to Annapolis for the Naval Academy and ate cream of crab soup, went to some hearings for the agriculture committee, Chris came to see me and we went to an apple orchard and had a grand old time.... the end

Oh wait! No it isn’t! My dear, sweet, gem of a friend Crystal got engaged! Yes! It is true! She is going to marry Mr. Mason and I can hear her smile over the phone. It’s a smile that she used when she first told me that he was the man she wanted to marry. Now she is! Oh, that senorita is so special!

Okay now... The End

New pictures

2005-10-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

The weekend....
This weekend was lovely. Saturday started late (aaah, sleeping late is great) and began at the Pentagon City Mall. No shopping allowed though.. we just walked there because it has an easier subway pick up as our little part of town is being maintenance on the weekends. One of our fellas got his hair cut at a salon in the mall called Bubbles. He was quite nervous. He had never been to a salon before, only a barber. It was a little funny because he was seriously jittery. The man at the front counter had spiked colored hair with an earring, and that was just scary for our ag boy. But being the brave soldier that he is, he walked in there and took a swively seat... and was trimmed. When we met back up with him he was so excited. He said that his hair stylist's name was CC and she knew all about hair. She showed him all these tricks and washed his hair. It was a good experience. It may not sound funny on the screen, but it was super giggley in person. From there we went and ate at California Pizza Kitchen, which was pretty yummy.

Then off to the National Archives. The line was ginormious, but being that we're federal employees, all we had to do was flash the badge and we were allowed right in....much to the distain of the hundreds of vociferous, impatient people we just cut in front of :O). Hey, don't give me that look.. policy was in place and I just took advantage of it!

We went to the Washington Monument, WWII memorial, Vietnam Memorial, and Lincoln Memorial. At Mr. Lincoln's house we got to watch an engagement! It was so sweet. The guy was so nervous that he was just talking to random people on the steps... us included. He told us that her best friend was walking her over from the WWII Memorial right now, so we decided to sit and watch the action. He said the Lincoln Memorial was her favorite monument. Awwww. The Lincoln Memorial has lots of steps leading up to the main attraction, and people sit on those steps. So, keep in mind that there were tons of people here. The girl walked up the stairs with a batch of flowers in her arms and her free hand over her mouth. He asked her to sit with him and started his speech with, "so, are you having a good day." ha! The he sang a song and had her stand up where he asked her to marry him. She said yes and the whole "stands" erupted with clapping and hooting! She turned to the stairs and yelled "Thanks for the memories!" Super cute.

We got caught in metro delays on the way home... after sitting for about 20 min. one of our guys went to the conductor to ask him how long it would be before we could leave. The conductor had been really chatty the whole time telling us what was happening and why we were stopped... but after Jimbo left to ask... all of the sudden he got on the loud speaker and said I DO NOT KNOW WHEN WE ARE LEAVING. I don't know. Please do not get out of your cars to ask me because I DO NOT KNOW. Our whole car started laughing. When Jimbo got back on the train looking like a dog that had just been kicked it just made us laugh even more.

It was a fun day.

Today we went to the National Cathedral for church! It was super pretty, but I miss my church back home. FBC Bryan is a great church! Then we ate at my favorite restaurant, Montana Teds.

Now, I'm going to read a book!!!!! WELL YEA!